My dad has been diagnosed with an advanced thalamus brain tumour

My dad was found collapsed and unresponsive 2 weeks ago and was thought to have had a stroke. He was left with left sided paralysis unable to open his eyes and was asleep , unconscious most of the time. 2 days ago he became more awake and could open his left eye. He is being fed by a tube and seemed much brighter. Still confused but was able to talk a bit, slurred and sometimes not making much sense. He had a MRI scan Sunday and they said it was a stroke but a large brain stem thalamus tumour and prognosis isn’t good.  
mots jeart breaking for is all and the big problem is we have no idea how long we have got and my dad is in Devon and my sister and I are in London. We are going up for 3/4 days at a time but also have children of our own and both nurses ourselves. I’m not at work but am feeling so bad/ leaving him then feel bad leaving my children also. We would love to bring him closer but we have no room in our homes and he won’t be eligible for care in London. Hog one is not suitable as it’s a rented 3 rd floor flat. 
jos sister is in Devon but she is 70’jerself and not in great health. He has visitors when we are not there but I just don’t know what to do. I want to be there all the time but I have my children to think about too.  
obviously if things get worse and he deteriorates I will be there but just feel so torn, sad and helpless. 
my dad is 75 and has other comorbidities also .  

  • Hi Amanda74,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm sorry to hear of the situation with your dad - this sounds really difficult and I can understand your feelings about it all and that it is a lot to deal with.

    Try not to stretch yourself too thinly - there is only so much support you can offer, both for him and your children and others around you, so try not to feel bad about not being able to do everything. I know this can be easier said than done. Focus on doing the best you can, while also making sure to look after yourself too, so that you can in turn better help those around you.

    I'm not sure if you have already explored other options for local support for your dad, but if not then it might be worth speaking to Macmillan, or having a look at the resources they offer. Hopefully your dad's doctor can also advise of any necessary support options that may be required.

    As I say, do keep looking after yourself too. We are always here for support on the forum, and I hope it is helpful for you as a safe space to write things down and reach out to others.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thanks Ben, I will get in touch with Macmillan and see how they might help .

    kind regards Amanda