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Struggling to come to terms with Dad’s diagnosis

red_onex
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I found out today that my Dad has terminal cancer and has a few months to live. At first I was numb, but after listening to one of my Dad’s old voicemails I’ve gone to bits and feel so upset. It’s such a weird feeling - I can only describe it as a constant feeling of sickness or anxiousness. 

I just feel so sorry for him. He’s so poorly and he just wants to get better for for his wife and my sister. I’m 24 and he’s 66 and it just feels all too soon.

I don't really have any questions. I’ve just found it helpful reading other people’s responses and how they ensured the best possible final moments with their loved ones. At the moment I have feelings of regret (for example, I should have done “x” more when he was well). Any advice on how to deal with this would be much appreciated. 

I’m so sorry for anyone supporting a loved one with Cancer, and of course those who are suffering. 

Parents

  • Welcome to the forum, but I am so sorry that you find yourself here.

    It is so hard when a loved one is told that there is nothing more that can be done, we just want to make it better for them and to keep them by our side.  I lost my mum to cancer at the end of last year, the end came very fast for her, which with hindsight was a blessing as she was in alot of pain.  In the months since her death, I have taken a lot of comfort from having spent alot of time with her whilst she was ill, we used to talk about lots of silly pranks that my sister and I used to get up to, we just felt close to each other.  I am lucky in the fact that we have a very strong faith, so she was not afraid of dying, we believe that she is now at peace and with my sister again, who also died from cancer, that is a big comfort.

    Tell your dad how much you love him and just be there for him, that will mean more to him than anything. 

    I wish you well on this journey,  its a very hard road to travel losing a parent.

    Regards

    Annie

Reply

  • Welcome to the forum, but I am so sorry that you find yourself here.

    It is so hard when a loved one is told that there is nothing more that can be done, we just want to make it better for them and to keep them by our side.  I lost my mum to cancer at the end of last year, the end came very fast for her, which with hindsight was a blessing as she was in alot of pain.  In the months since her death, I have taken a lot of comfort from having spent alot of time with her whilst she was ill, we used to talk about lots of silly pranks that my sister and I used to get up to, we just felt close to each other.  I am lucky in the fact that we have a very strong faith, so she was not afraid of dying, we believe that she is now at peace and with my sister again, who also died from cancer, that is a big comfort.

    Tell your dad how much you love him and just be there for him, that will mean more to him than anything. 

    I wish you well on this journey,  its a very hard road to travel losing a parent.

    Regards

    Annie

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