Grandad is terminal 6 month is now

My grandad given 6 months which its terrifying to say that's going buy doctors to be November. Of this year . 

 

After esophagus . And lung cancer . Now spread to other lung and stomach increasing pain weight loss is rapid due to not eating .  Declined treatment as I don't think he'd still be here now. 

 

This diagnosis has been the biggest shock and cruelest dealt to my grandfather. And our family. 

Cancer 6 months . Hang on a minute. How . 

Hes so proud but I can tell he's petrified he's more sleepy now and morphine increased for pain . 

My nan says to me how can I live without him . After a lifetime together. He literally does or did everything for her in bills house money management cars etc . 

My grandad has been robbed Jim of his hobbies his food his love his passions his everything his weight his mobility his mind and eventually his life . 

Although everything is gone upside down . He's like a closed book and don't like showing feelings or worries or wants   . Stuff upper lip . Carry on . A different generation. 

All I want to do is hug him and tell him it's gunna be ok but I know it's not he is so sad . So incredibly sad . Lost. 

I'm not ready we aren't ready and hes not ready.

He was unwell with issues before hand but this, words cannot explain the twisted hand dealt 

I leave his house and he manages to put his shades on and sit on the bench outside waving me off. 

Its in that moment where you think nothings changed But in fact everything has changed. And nothing can be done 

I can't describe how cruel and heartbreaking seeing him go through this. You think why why why why why . Over and over and over .

What's he thinking. I can only imagine if my head's blown 

Why can't it be stopped . Still. How many more precious lives . 

And what hurts me is nothing absolutely nothing more is done that's it your going to die  6 months .

This shouldn't be happening to us or anyone else 

I'm so angry 

 

  • You have every right to be angry and its good that you can vent your feelings on here ,Its heartbreaking that anyone should be told their life will be cut short its just not right and never will be ,its an evil disease that everyone fears young or old and your post has touched my heart and I couldn't scroll past without saying something ,I'm actually very sad and very angry with you because no one derserves this ,all I can do is send you my very best wishes and hope you get through this as easily as possible ,and maybe your Grandad would appreciate that cuddle and you don't need to say anything ,good wishes to all your family Jenny .

  • Thanks Jenny. It's like screaming and no one hearing you . 

    What will stick with me is when he went for a check up on a stent . He was heaving in corridor. And he was watching every nurse and doctor passing . And it was like you could see by his face he was just begging for someone to help make this stop. 

    Its actually effecting me mentally. To process. I know it's now abit selfish when we weren't effected by cancer so personally &  I was angry before at the devastating effects of this disease..but now my reasoning and anger for this has now hit the highest roof of the highest building and then some 

    Thanks for taking the time to listen and words of comfort

     

     

  • I hear you and I feel your pain for your Grandad but unfortunately everyones not the same ,but its great he's got you I'm sure its very comforting for him ,it might help if you keep popping on here its sometimes good to talk to others outside your family circle ,you are not alone there are many lovely people on here going through very similar things either themselves ot a relative who may relate to your post it can  sometimes helps .