Hello faym, I am so sorry for what you are going through.  I know how you are feeling becaue I also watched my own Mum die of cancer and I have also seen many friends and relatives die from this disease.  You say that your Mum has stopped going to the toilet and stopped drinking........I am so sorry to say this, but she sounds like she has just days to live........maybe a week or two at the most.  Please forgve me if I have been too blunt, but I think that you would rather hear the truth wouldn't you?  And there is no easy way of saying that your Mum will soon be passing.  I am so very sorry, I truly have walked in your shoes and I know how horrendous it is..........but if I may say, you will find a strength that you never knew you had.  Much love to you, Violet, x

Hi violet,

im sorry to hear about your mums passing :( 

I appreciate your brutal honestly, it's all I've actually wanted to hear so I can prepare myself as much as possible :( 

such a horrible cruel disease!

Take care x

Hi Darling

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go through this with a little boy. I can only say that at least she got to meet your baby while she was still alive. It's a gift not many of us get, as my mother is dying now and it hurts to think that if i ever wanted children, she won't be there not even to meet them. I know it must be so difficult as you want to be strong for your boy, perhaps you could ask for some help from family and friends to take care of him while you are grieving. I heard that after a loved one passes it's important to take as few days and be in solitude with no distractions so you can work through the pain and feel better in the long run. I feel I will do this once mum passes otherwise the initial pain will be more long and drawn out. It's a good time to reach out and get some help, you deserve it.

From my point of view it sounds like you are holding on to her and want her to remain as long as possible, while she wants to go. I know this is a sensitive topic but it sounds like there needs to be an element of acceptant and you letting her go.. i'm not sure exactly how to advise you to do that as it sounds like that's really a difficult thing for you. Perhaps watching some videos on letting go/grief might help. I have already told my mother that i am letting her go and it's ok if she wants to leave when she is ready, because I know that she inevitably has to leave this body and cross over to the other side to reach peace. It's so hard to let go but sometimes we actually have the power to stop souls from passing which is very bittersweet and painful.

There's people you could talk to who might be able to help you with this - my mum's in a hospice and here they have a Chaplain here who is able to offer guidance and advice for struggles like these. He helped me realise that I wanted to apologise to my mum about certain things before she passed and that was very helpful. Could you perhaps get in touch with your local hospice and find out if they have anything like that available for you? 

Unfortunately you're hurting yourself by seeing the sickness as a poorly phase :( .. the energy that she had was more of a healthy phase / gift from her to you. 

Take care, try to let go, get help from your community give yourself some time and space to grieve. ♥️

Hi!

thank you so much for your reply and kind words!

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum, sending my love and thoughts to you, I understand how devastating it is!

my mum is now in a hospice, the doctors have said she had a few days left. I have accepted now that she isn't going to get any better and I can see she is deteriorating, I do just want her to be at peace now as much as I don't want to lose my mum, she isn't going to come back from this.. :( 

take care, sending my love to you xx