Dear Victoriag, my heart goes out to you as my husband suffered in the same way.  Its so extremely hard to see your loved one suffering and feeling that very little is being done to help.  I begged my paliative care team to put the syringe driver in but they refused to do it saying he had weeks or days to live.  How do you fight that, you can't they will do what they think is best, not listening to the closest relatives knowledge.  So my way of coping was to ring the district nurses who should be on call 24/7 the paliative care team will have their number.  I didn't hesitate to call, any accidents in bed I rang them, crying out in pain, I rang them.  Even at 2.30am I rang them and they arrived and administered an injection to help him sleep.  Use the resources available to you and don't be frightened to do so, do you know you can have a night sitter to sit with Mum, to give you some relief, we could not because the hospital had given him Covid so no help but it's there if you need it.  Just remember that you have to get through this and still have the strength to cope with your loss when it finally comes.  When Norman died I spoke to the paliative care team who still had refused to put the syringe driver in and told them that at their next team meeting they should have on the agenda that loved ones know best.  I'm so sorry to hear what is happening and I send my love.  Carol 

Dear Victoriag, my heart goes out to you as my husband suffered in the same way.  Its so extremely hard to see your loved one suffering and feeling that very little is being done to help.  I begged my paliative care team to put the syringe driver in but they refused to do it saying he had weeks or days to live.  How do you fight that, you can't they will do what they think is best, not listening to the closest relatives knowledge.  So my way of coping was to ring the district nurses who should be on call 24/7 the paliative care team will have their number.  I didn't hesitate to call, any accidents in bed I rang them, crying out in pain, I rang them.  Even at 2.30am I rang them and they arrived and administered an injection to help him sleep.  Use the resources available to you and don't be frightened to do so, do you know you can have a night sitter to sit with Mum, to give you some relief, we could not because the hospital had given him Covid so no help but it's there if you need it.  Just remember that you have to get through this and still have the strength to cope with your loss when it finally comes.  When Norman died I spoke to the paliative care team who still had refused to put the syringe driver in and told them that at their next team meeting they should have on the agenda that loved ones know best.  I'm so sorry to hear what is happening and I send my love.  Carol