The brutal truth

Me: 

32, married, 1 sister, dog and trying to hold down a job.

my mum:

65, kind, caring, loved to dance, loved true crim. diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2020 June. Ups and downs since then. Had spread to her neck so bed bound the last month. Currently on a driver, pain is not being managed well and she is now extremely weak, not talking and barely opening her eyes. She seems on pain and it feels like no one is doing anything.

 

I suppose by now like everyone else I'm fed up of having to "tell the whole story". I have lost all emotion when repeating the same thing to different people.I'm angry at our local services and feel that no one even mentions what it's like at the end. Miscommunication, trips back and forth to the pharmacy, arguments with family as you all want "what's best".  All this whilst trying to manage  to spend last hours and ensuring loved ones are comfortable and that your there.
 

I spend ages trying to Google what will happen, how long it will be and end of life stages. This has been more helpful then our local services.  My mom is in pain it's not being managed and it horrible to watch as I'm helpless.

I suppose I'm asking for the brutal truth. How long does it take, is anyone else going through the same. How long is she going to be like this. 

Parents
  • hiya,

     

    im so sorry to hear what you are all going through.

     

    my mu. passed away on 29 may frm stage 4 lung cancer, we only found out she had cancer a mere 7 months ago.

     

    like your mum, my mothers pain was not managed especially towards the end. the cancer had spread to her hip and she was in agony. they gave us abstral and oxynorm but it wasnt working. in the end she was on a huge doseage on driver and we were calling district nurses to inject her to sedate her. i know how horrible it is seeing your mum in pain and feeling helpless. the only thing we could do was to keep her asleep and hope that she was dreaming 

     

    take care and love and hugs to all xx

Reply
  • hiya,

     

    im so sorry to hear what you are all going through.

     

    my mu. passed away on 29 may frm stage 4 lung cancer, we only found out she had cancer a mere 7 months ago.

     

    like your mum, my mothers pain was not managed especially towards the end. the cancer had spread to her hip and she was in agony. they gave us abstral and oxynorm but it wasnt working. in the end she was on a huge doseage on driver and we were calling district nurses to inject her to sedate her. i know how horrible it is seeing your mum in pain and feeling helpless. the only thing we could do was to keep her asleep and hope that she was dreaming 

     

    take care and love and hugs to all xx

Children
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