Hi everyone,  I don't really know where to start, my dad took unwell in March this year but looking back now I don't think he's been well for a while and I feel terrible guilt, you know what men are like for not telling us there problems. We had to wait for him to get a biopsy done in hospital as he was taken in as he was jaundice. In the end after three weeks he came home after finding out he had cancer. Over the next few weeks we were back and forth with appointments thinking he was eligible for surgery on his pancreas. We had the dreaded news that he was too poorly for surgery and our option was chemotherapy so waiting again for a date to go to the appointment to find out he's too sick due to previous illness so it's just pain management. I'm only 29 years old and don't know how to deal with the fact my dad probably won't see Christmas as my birthday he won't get the chance to meet grandkids ect. I feel so much guilt we didn't see it, I have a holiday booked and said I was cancelling it to be told under no circumstances I'm allowed due to the fact I need a break, I'm so emotionally drained from not sleeping properly and trying to keep a brave face on when needed. Also doesn't help fathers day is just around the corner so everywhere I go I just see cards and gifts knowing this is my final father's day with my beloved dad how do I cope?