Claire,  I am so sorry for you, and maybe I am wrong in the advice I am about to give you.......I just don't know.........but here goes:  Claire, everyone I know, including myself, always wishes that they had been with their mother as she took her last breath, and many folks later regret that they were not there right till the end.  Claire, please forgive me if I have spoken out of turn, but I am simply telling you the truth.  You MIGHT later regret it if you are not with your mother as she passes.  I feel so sad for you Claire, sorry I can't be of more help, much love to you, Violet xxx

So sorry you are having to go through this and don't have more support around you. There isn't any right or wrong here and it is okay if you need to go out to compose yourself for however long you need. I think you should tell a nurse how you feel and ask for some advice and support if possible. Though unfortunately services are very stretched at present. 

I hope things go as peacefully as they can for you. I once sat all night in a hospital reception area waiting for a cafe to open because I was in too much of a state to go home. You'll get through this ... Do you have any calming apps on your phone you can play while you sit with your Mum, or try some breathing exercises? Is there anything else that might help you. Just being with your mum will mean a lot, holding her hand and stroking it perhaps. You don't have to keep looking if it's too much. Just tell your mum you are a bit sleepy and need to close your eyes a little, but maybe keep on talking to her. So so tough. Take care. X

So sorry you are going through this with no support. 

I have never been in your situation but i do work in healthcare, so i have a few things to tell you. 

Please do not worry about your own reactions to your mothers death. It is possibly the most traumatic time people can experience. As a healthcare worker, we have seen it all, and any staff around you and your mum will expect these reactions. I promise you that almost everybody has a huge reaction to grief, and most commonly this is in a hospital setting. Speak to the team of professionals around you and your mum, share with them your fears and tell them you have no support. They can help a lot more than you think. They arent just there for your mum, but they are there for you too. They will most likely have a bereavement area, specific staff to support you and explain things, or to talk things through. You will feel lost after your mum passes, unfortunately that is inevitable, but there is support for you i promise. 

Talk and reach out. Be honest and tell them about your fears, ask for advice and guidance. 

Personally, everyone i have known has regretted not staying at the end - BUT everyone is different. Itll help to talk through your options with a nurse or someone caring for your mum. 

You are not alone in this, you will not be pushed out of the hospital immediately after your mum passes. Their duty of care doesnt end when your mum passes away - they are still there to get you through the next stages and they can provide you with contacts for just about anything... bereavement support, mental health support, financial support. And more. 

Again i am so sorry you are going through this, but you dont have to do it alone. Speak up, voice your concerns, ask for help. You deserve it. 

All the best in these difficult times x