Hello Rowe, your anger and pain come through in the words you have written and it is right that you should feel this way.  Yes life is cruel, my daughters lost their lovely dad five weeks ago after he had battled cancer for five years, they are heartbroken, as am I.  You're doing really well hiding it from Mum, she would not realise why you're so upset, we do find enormous strength from deep down and unfortunately you are having to do this at a relatively young age, it's all so very sad and there is no answers to any of it.  Sharing your pain is a good way to deal with it and that's what you have now done.  I'm not going to give you platitudes, you don't need them.  You're now caring for her as she cared for you, unselfishly.  I've always been strong for my daughters but I have wept buckets on their shoulders and they now see my inner grief, they have become the parent to me, as you have become in caring for your lovely Mum.  There is always someone on this forum to help, to shout at the world , cry out in anger, we've all done it and fully understand how you feel.  I'm  sending a virtual hug your way, look after yourself as well, as it will not be an easy road, take any help offered, being strong is OK but we still need each other.  Love your way, Carol x

So sorry for your loss Carol. I keep trying to be thankful for things but it's just so hard to see her struggling. I would trade places with her in a heart beat.

Sorry to hear your story, Rowe. I suppose it is hard losing a parent at any age but it stings more when you think of all the good times you are missing that never had the chance to happen. I am in this boat now myself with my mum (65 with months left) and this is what hurts the most.

Heeeeeeey,

I'm so sorry to hear of the news of your mum. I was 26 when my mum passed away with esophageal cancer at the age of 52. Life really isn't fair!!! Cancer is so cruel.

Stay positive,enjoy your time with her,and try to aim for that holiday. 

My thoughts are with you xx

Hi, yes life certainly is cruel, i lost my mum wjen she was 55, i was 22, she had liver cancer, never smoke or drank, she didnt get long after diagnosis, 5 months i think, she took the chemo but it didnt work. I was 22 with a 3 year old, single parent. i remember her being so sad that she would never take my child to nursery. I needed my mum so much, she had just reared her family and was beginning to enjoy her spare time, i was just beginning to mature a bit having been a bit of a difficult teenager,  i never got those few years of a mature relationship with her. I cried on my way home every night,  she never had much of a life, my partner of 18 years aged 53 was diagnosed with stomach cancer 2 weeks ago, now I am reliving the same pain and utter heartache all over again. Its hard to believe i was here before 33 years ago, but here i am. My partner was the best thing ever happened to me, i thought we would grow old together, damn! Hope this helps a bit that your pain has been endured the world over, my partner quoted me recently...."out of crisis resides the seeds of grace'...i hope i find that grace...take care. 

I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I feel your pain and understand what you are going through. I am also 27, and my poor mum has been given weeks to live, she is 58. She is my best friend and we did everything together. Spoke twice a day and spent all weekends together. She is in a hospice now, I can only visit for 3 hours everyday and I'm finding this so difficult, 3 hours a day seems so little time. But we couldn't care for her at home anymore, she lost her mobility and it was too distressing for her. Life is so cruel and I'd do anything to go back in time before all this was happening. 

Thank you for replying. As awful as it is, it is good to find someone that genuinely understands. My own Auntie of all people yesterday said 'it doesn't make it any easier' losing someone when they are older. I can tell you auntie... yes it bloody does! I would feel a 100 times better if my Mum had 10 or 15 more years under her belt. Her Mum died at 70. She watched all of her Grandchildren grow up, and even met 3 Great Grandchildren. My Mum's death and her's are by no way comparible. I understand that people go through worse losses than losing their Mother far too young, but luckily (for everyone else) not many people do. I'm jealous that my Husband has both of his parents, I can't bear to hear ALL of my friends talking about their alive and well Mothers. I dread becoming a Motherless Mother. I would be grateful if she could meet any children I might have just for 5 minutes. Just so she can be called Grandma for 5 minutes. 
 

She is too unwell to make any more happy memories. She is nothing like she used to be. I occasionally see glimmers of Mum in there, but she has become a bit averse to my affection and doesn't want to cuddle me which is heart braking. Such is the cruelty of brain cancer. 
 

So sorry your Mum has had to go into a hospice. 3 hours a day seems an unreasonably small amount of time. Have they given you a reason? 

Hey,

You are not alone. My mum passed away at a young age of 52. I was only 26 at the time. I was by her bedside when she took her final breath,in some ways I wish I hadn't been there. But I was there for her,with my brother and Sister.

All I can say,is enjoy the time you have left. Take photos,spend quality time with her. Stay positive and aim to go on holiday Together. 

Thinking of you both xx

Hello RoweThompson, 

Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your mums diagnosis. 
 

I (just turned 28) lost my mum (59) to cancer last October after 3 weeks of being diagnosed with cancer. It's going to be extremely hard and like you seeing how my mum deteriorated was absolutely heartbreaking.

make the most of your time. We planned to do many big last things with my mum, for example take her to stay over in a hotel were her mum and dad met but unfortunately we just didn't get that time. Instead though my family spent everyday in the hospital with mum and made the most of the time we had. As painful as those 3 weeks were I have some lovely memories with my mum - she beat me on a game of scrabble, me and my sister gave her a pamper one day and then another time when we were leaving for the day we continued to run back into her room to tell her that we love her (she actually told us to go away by the end of it haha). Me and my sister also took as many pictures of us with mum, even though they are in a hospital setting I treasure them. 

I really really hope you get to go to Venice with your mum! All my love goes out to your family during this time, life is certainly cruel! Look after yourself!