I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. She has been through so much too, I dont think my dad will last the six months either. I just hope when the time comes he isn't in pain. They need to do more research and offer more scans for things like this. I never thought it would happen to us as a family. I suppose no one expects it. You're right every death is different but the signs are always there. Stay strong for your mum. She will need you. 
 

sending love. 
Lauren xxx

So sorry to hear about your mum. I feel that's why I'm on here looking for a time frame. I think that's such a nice idea what you've done for your mum. But my dad doesn't know he's dying so if I tried to ask him to do that I feel he would know why I'm doing it and just make him give up even more. What I did do though was ask him to draw me a flower which he did. I'm going to get it tattooed on my wrist. I feel at the moment I'm playing a waiting game. Some signs are there, he's eating but not as much. He's sleeping a lot. He won't get dressed. And hasn't left the house since his hospital appointment. It's a hard time for everybody at the minute. Spend as much time as you can. I've learnt some people never had the chance. So a positive is that we have. I suppose. 
 

sending love xxxx

Thank you for your reply. 

It's difficult and I totally agree to be there as much as possible. I got covid on Christmas day so it's been terrible missing this last week. I think on focusing on what we can control like doing the little things that make them happy are the parts we have to focus on. 

Sending so much love to you and yours x

hi im so sorry to read this from one heartbroken daughter to another.

my dad was diagnosed with bilary cancer in july he chose no treatment as the little months it would maybe gain would be shadowed by side effects. he has since been told it had spread( small particles) on the lung. yesterday after following a chest infection and xray we were told it has spread widely across both lungs not leaveing much good room for him to breathe. and the doctor told me to prepare my life as we are now looking at weeks to days rather than months. my dad doesnt know this and i dont want him to know.

my dad has stayed strong and indepenent and still makes himself sit in his armchair in the day but he has lost so much weight hes skin and bone now practically unable to stand even to turn onto the toilet and is barely eating and drinking. hes constantly asleep unable to hold a conversation like we used to as its so tiring. hes uncomfortable and in pain hes been asked to go into the hospice tomorrow to try and manage his pain and get him comfortable with the hopes to bring him back home.

im 28 with 2 young children ive cared for my dad from the start and i will till the end the pain you go through is unbeleivable and i fear the heartache is worse and forever will be. my only advice is do what you can while you can stay strong you will have your moments were you just cant stop yourself crying and overthinking.

sending you and your dad  the strength to get through this you can and will do this its what a daughter does 

xx

Hi Lillybird

Sadly, your situation is very similar to mine.  My lovely mum was diagnosed with late stage colon cancer 6 months ago - no suitable treatment just palliative care.  The grief has been overwhelming.  She is now at the stage of mostly sleeping, not eating and very, very frail.  I have coped with it by trying to stay in the present moment (easier said than done), but know that I am of little use if crying all the time.  I need to stay strong to support her.  She still talks of 'getting stronger', and we both collude in this idea that she will recover as that has been her way of coping with it.

Like Kb said earlier, I too have read these posts without previously posting.  I have also arrived at them whilst endlessly searching for information that may be of some help or comfort. I have found that reading these posts makes me feel less alone, but it is dreadful that so many people are going through the same painful, traumatic experiences.

I know that when my mum dies the grief will be absolutely overwhelming.  She has been my rock and is my best friend.  I simply don't know what I will do without her.

Love to you all going through this terrible time.

This was tough to read, hope you are ok and spend the next six months making the best memories with your dad x

Hi Lauamelia,

I'm very sorry to hear of the news that your father only has 6 months to live. I lost my mum to Ovarian cancer early in December. She fought hard for 3.5 years. We were told in mid November that she only had a few weeks. That was the hardest part for me, it was far harder than when she actually passed away. My advice would be to spend as much time with him as possible.

Do you have work commitments? It's hard when you have young children, I have a one year old son and it was difficult balancing looking after him, working and spending time with Mum.

My thoughts are with you.

Please monitor his symptoms.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It hits hard when they give you a time frame as it's constantly on your mind. Your mum is at peace now and she fought hard like you said. 
 

I do work but I work for myself so at the moment I'm not currently working so I can be around more. 
 

I am trying to monitor his symptoms. 
sending love. 

Hello lauamelia,

It's so very heartbreaking to read your story. And equally heartbreaking to realise how many people in this thread are having to prepare for the departure of a beloved parent whilst so young. Since finding out my own Dad only has a number of weeks left, I have taken some comfort knowing at least I will be able to spend lots of quality time with him. What I find very hard to comprehend, is how someone who is fairly mobile and, for now, so mentally present is probably not going to be alive in a month or two. Having not lost a close relative to cancer before, I suppose it's all very new and daunting territory. My children who are 3 and 1 keep me busy and can provide a lot of joy during the hardest of times. I hope you are all not forgetting to look after yourselves too. Sending strength to everybody on here. X