Hi to everyone reading this. I'm 27 and have come on here because I know it can't just be me going through this.
My amazing dad fell ill in November 21. Stomach pains, throwing up, we took him to a and e and they thought it was Gallstones. They kept him in and called me telling me it was bowel cancer and they're operating immediately. He was fitted with a stoma and I was told that they couldn't remove all the cancer. My dad had previously had a stroke so it can sometimes take him a little longer to process things. Considering it has all happened over night he dealt with having the stoma better than I imagined. But I could see he wasn't himself. They sent him home 2nd of this month and I've been there everyday. He's usually asleep in the chair and tells me he's tired when I ask. We had his first oncology appointment today 23/12/21 to discuss chemo options. They asked questions to see how my dad was getting on. He said he's tired/can't walk far. So they explained the aggressive chemo option probably isn't best for him and that a "kinder" one would be recommended. They explained that this would manage the cancer and would pro long life for an extra three months. Dad said he's scared and isn't ready to leave me or my seven year old little girl. . They asked him if he wanted to know how much time he has left and at first he said yes. But I interrupted and explained maybe he should reconsider. In which he decided he didn't want to know. I said this purely because I know my dad. He would just take himself off to bed and that would be that. The oncologist saw in my face that I needed to know for myself. So whilst my dad was in conversation with another consultant she asked if she could borrow me. I asked her how long he has left. And she said six months. I absolutely sobbed my heart out as I was expecting years. My dad doesn't know. And it's best he doesn't know. I stay strong around him because I have too. But I'm absolutely heartbroken and right before Christmas too is not what I expected. Has any one else gone through this? Now knowing what I know I wish I hadn't asked.. but I don't think it's the asking that's hurt me. I think it's getting the answer I didn't want. And expecting more. I'm struggling to get my head around it. I look at my dad who has lost so much weight. Once the person who could spin me around and he just looks lost. He's not ready. And neither am I.
from a heart broken daughter.
