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Partner has cancer

Luce1994
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Hi. I’m just looking for a little support. My 26 year old partner was diagnosed with bowel cancer 3 weeks ago. It’s all been a massive whirlwind and such a shock, at 24 and 26 years old, I didn’t think we would have to go through this. Not yet anyway. He had surgery two weeks ago and now we’re waiting on the results. Iv been off with him since his surgery but went back to work today. I found it so hard! I’m not getting much sleep at all because I am constantly worrying about him and the results. Iv been so strong up until now, but I think things have just built up and got the better of me. I feel so bad for letting people down at work but I’m completely not in the right mind set until I know the results. Is it wrong that Iv asked for more time off? Should I feel guilty? I know I’m not alone so that is why Iv reached out to here. Thank you in advance xx

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    Hi ya ...

    Should you feel guilty ??  Now if you were chatting to someone who's going through what you are now ... what would you say to them ...

    Bless ya ... I think we try to be super human, and handle everything thrown at us ... but trust me, even super woman would crumble ... it's hard enough for us oldies, and l can't imagine how I'd have coped if I were your age ... no wonder your not sleeping ... you know "staying strong" will brake you in the end ... it's like letting go of feelings and sharing them together will feel really sad , but like you comming on here ...it's all about sharing feelings, thoughts and both admitting your scared ... 

    The time l started coping with my diagnosis was when my daughter in law sat us down and said no more panicking. . No more what ifs. .. no more looking ahead ... well take every problem as and when it comes up and well do it together. . And you know once I'd got those feelings out.. and shared them with those I love... I found l was strong enough to get myself a pair of vertual boxing gloves ... put them on, get in the ring and look it in the eye ... and I was ready for the fight of my life ... that was 2017 ...

    You see its admitting how scary this is ... and when you know your scared witless but still doing what you have to. . That's brave ... hold on together ... there's lots here in this vertual boxing ring ... and you know l think we have it on the ropes ... cancer doesn't want you to take it on ... it wants us to lay down and never get up ... well it's got another thing comming ... I've got a tea shirt that says cancer touched my boob so l kicked it's ***. . 

    Hold on in there ... this is an amazing place to come .. because we've been there, we KNOW how it feels .. so you can say anything here and someone will have felt just the same ... your not alone ...

    Sending you a vertual hug.... Chrissie

  • Offline in reply to Chriss

    Thank you so much for your lovely reply. It really is hard, and i know I’m not alone. You sound like such an inspirational woman! I love the sound of your t-shirt too! I just need to carry on being positive!! It’s this waiting that’s one of the worst parts I think! 

    Thanks again for your lovely reply. 

    Luce 

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    Hello 

    I`m so sorry about your partner`s diagnosis. I have been treated for bowel cancer and completed treatment mid November 2018. 

    Everyone takes cancer diagnose different - some people getting to work more (that was me), others just need some time for taking it. You can`t just stay strong 100% every day :) please do not expect from yourself too much - remember you also have your own needs and it will help your partner more to not see you stressed etc. 

    There is girl on that forum who had been diagnosed with bowel cancer same age as your partner I think - @JessieD. She also started to record her journey on the blog - this is the link.

    beingyoungwithcancer.wordpress.com/.../

    Please remember you are not alone and I know this might not be easy to do but stay positive - it`s better to find cancer -  then there is more chance to treat it and fight it!  Take each day as it comes - this is not only saying for people with cancer but also to everyone who carry for them :) We all have down moments and it`s perfectly fine. 

    I will keep my fingers crossed for both of you :) 

    Mal

  • Offline in reply to 86Mal86

    Thank you! Im so happy that you have completed your treatment!! 

    I am being as positive as I can. My partner has been amazing. He hasn’t moaned once. He’s been an inspiration, I am so proud of him! Thank you for the link. There is so many brave people in this world! Just hoping it’s soon that we get results then hopefully we can move on with our lives. We’re getting married next year but everything is on standby for the time being. It’s so nice to talk to people and get responses that understand. People that haven’t been through it are quick to say, ‘you’ll be fine, cheer up’ etc but they don’t know how draining and tiring it is! 

    Thanks again for your message xxx

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