Hi,
My father passed away from cancer yesterday. He had been living with me and my family for a year before his death.
I am feeling a mixture of despair and hollowness. He had wanted the end to come for some time and then suffered a very sad death. His pain not controlled, he was moved to a hospice 2 days before. He always wanted to die at home but couldn't bear any more pain. He was unable to eat and drink for days and unable to move or speak. It breaks my heart remembering my brave dad like this.
Then there is the guilt that I could have been more comforting, kinder, generous with my time and understanding. Life (work and 2 young children) got in the way but he should have been my number 1 priority and I am ashamed to say he wasn't always.
Everything in my house is a reminder of him and how lucky I was to have him here for a year but also the pain that he is gone. I don't want to feel self pity but that is all I can think of.
I just wanted reassurance if any/ all of this is normal.
TIA
