Dear little birdie 

firstly I would like to say how sorry I am that you are going through this.

I lost my dad in September to a brain Tumor he was 63 with 5 grandsons aged 7-14 he fought it for three years

when we were told dads diagnosis I was so frightened, I was frightened for many reasons, i could not imagine my life without him,  After all our dads are out Rocks. I was so Angry with the world !! how can my dad be taken away so young and leave us behind.

I was fearful for the future and how will we cope watching him deteriorate and pass away.

I had two options, I could hide away and cry in my bedroom or I could do all I could to make sure I was there for my Dad and mum. I dedicated my life to my dad and enjoyed every second. It was hard but you find the strength inside. 
 

I took each day and didn't think any further than the day I was in, I couldn't mentally handle thinking ahead, I would think up terrible situations. We had some hard days but we got through it.  You will dig deep because you don't have a choice.   You will be offered help take it if you need it you won't be alone. 
 

we looked after dad at home he died in his own bed and was sharing a bed with my mum until the end as that is what they wanted.  You will be ok, it's okay to cry and scream I did lots of it.

my life now is so different without my wonderful dad but I have to be ok for my children and except that this is a new life I have to adjust. 
 

One thing I will say is he won't be in pain,  that will be managed, 

Sending you strength and I am so sorry you are feeling Sad, that feeling will never go. 
 

Xxxx

Thank you snow drop and I am very sorry to hear about your Dad- sounds like you and your mum made sure he had everything he needed xx

yes I am struggling to stay in the now- everytime I'm on my own I find I just feel overwhelmingly upset and then my mind runs away with thoughts of funerals and coping after he's gone which obviously doesn't help. 
 

Thank you snow drop and I am very sorry to hear about your Dad- sounds like you and your mum made sure he had everything he needed xx

yes I am struggling to stay in the now- everytime I'm on my own I find I just feel overwhelmingly upset and then my mind runs away with thoughts of funerals and coping after he's gone which obviously doesn't help. 
 

I was the same as you, I would even think about what I would say at his funeral. 
 

It is such a hard thing for you all too cope with. I am so sorry for you going through this life is so cruel. 
 

have you thought about a Councillor? I had one and it really helped they helped me to rationalise everything and talked me through my feelings, why don't you call Macmillan they will help you. 
 

Stay strong much love x 

I didn't realise Macmillan could help with things like Councillors - i may give them a call, i think my Mum could really do with some support to be honet. 

Thank you x