My mum passed away several weeks ago and I don't know how to cope. My mom was diagnosed in late August 2021 with bladder cancer and passed away in early November 2021 after another primary tumour was found. Both cancers metastasised quickly, she got an infection and died from sepsis. This happened so quickly that I did not have time to process what was happening. I am 21 and in my third year of college studying medicine, and I am finding it very to cope with the loss of my mam who was my best friend all my life. We were very close, I told her everything and spent a lot of time with her. In her last few weeks I did not visit her in the hosptial as much as I should have as her personality had changed due to a tumour and it was hard to be around her. She forgot my birthday and I was so hurt that I could not bring myself to visit her that day. I said some things that I shouldn't have. Although we resolved these issues before she passed away, I still feel very guility. I am finding it hard to deal with this
On top of the guilt, I just miss her so much that it is a huge effort to even get out of bed. I keep crying when I am by myself. I have no support from my other family members and it is just extra hard to deal with this because of that. My friends and boyfriend have been amazing, but it is not the same as having my mum here. I just wish I could talk to her again. How do you cope with this ? Does it get easier? It feels like I'm always going to be sad.
