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2 months since dad passed away & feeling very numb

Imissmydad
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It's been nearly 2 months since my dad passed away and I still feel total numb , every time I feel myself getting upset I just completely shut it down I can not cope with the overwhelming feeling of sadness . 
I don't no how to get past this and I'm worried it's really not doing me any good just feeling numb all the time . I don't no what I'm doing I don't no what I'm supposed to be doing but I only do feel guilty for kind of pretending like it never happened. 

  • Hello Imissmydad

    I'm so sorry to hear that you recently lost your Dad. Two months is still very early days in the journey that you're going through with grief but I do know that two months can also feel like a lifetime when you're missing someone that you loved. 

    Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating. Remember that the is no right nor wrong way to grieve and whilst at the moment numbing is the coping mechanism that you're using, at some point those feelings will come to the surface. Something that many people find helpful after a loss is to talk with someone other than a friend or family member. Having a safe space in which to talk about your Dad, his passing, and what you are experiencing can help you begin to process things. I'd encourage you to have a look at the website for an organisation called Cruse. They offer a number of different types of bereavement support and I know that many people have found their services invaluable. 

    As I said, it is still early days in this process. Be kind to yourself and don't expect too much. KNow that we're here to support you if we can. You're not alone in facing this. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline

    Hi there, 

    I'm so sorry to hear you lost your dad. I know exactly how you feel, it's the most unbearable pain that you just can't get away from. The feeling of numbness is so overwhelming. I just remember having this I sense feeling that I was living someone else's life because this can't be real. My dad was a single parent and he brought up us 3 children on his own. When we lost him to lung cancer, my world fell apart. 
    5 years on and here I am looking at forums to see if anyone has any advice as to how I can deal with the intense grief I still feel, because I still haven't dealt with it. My advice to you is give yourself time. Cry when need to, talk when you need to and try not to bottle things up or you'll be back here 5 years later as I am. 
    You'll never get over it but you will learn to live with it. It may not feel like it right now but it will get better, I promise. Make sure you take care of yourself xxx 

     

  • Offline in reply to lucy.lou

    Thank you for your reply , I also lost my dad to lung cancer it just all happened so quickly . He was first diognoed 2 years ago then he got the all clear begging of September he didn't feel well went to the hospital and never left the cancer had come back and was to far gone . I just go from feel nothing totally numb and I feel guilty when I feel like that my dad only had me looking after him and that's what I spent most of my life doing this is the longest Iv gone without seeing or speaking to him. 
     

    im only 25 with no kids and not really any family support when I do get upset I just can't cope with it , the thought that my dad is actually gone is just so much kind of in my brain I'm thinking he's still in the hospital and this sounds so stupid because Iv had the funeral and Iv got his ashes. 
     

    im also fighting to keep his flat that is kind of keeping me busy but the thought of losing that is just as painfull. 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thank you for your reply , I have actually messaged cruse a few times I'm just not very good and never no what to say to them but I do start Counceling in January . It's a group Counceling im hoping there will be people closer to my age. I understand that losing your dad at any age is painfully but im only 25 and I feel robbed of my time with my dad but I understand there are people who are younger then me that also didn't get enough time it's just so hard 

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