Four weeks have passed now since my husband died.

It has been stressful, reassuring, unsettling. From a practical point of view, it's going smoothly, the solicitor is dealing with the 'confimation' process (Scotland!). I had a few unexpected situations which left me convinced that communication beyond death is possible.

I am glad that I took photos and some video sequences during the final days, I've looked at them a few times. And I've spoken to the box with the ashes.

I am moving forward. I've picked a few regular activities during the week: swimming, started playing chess again (after 35 years or so!), booked a short art holiday. I have even gone back to folk dancing - first time was the hardest thing yet, as that is where we met. It was a good event, although I cried during my drive home. I've cleared out most things in the wardrobes. My Christmas project might be painting the bedroom, I certainly don't want to see others' concerned faces and sit through their Christmas as an "Extra".

Why am I telling you all this? It's worth trying to push yourself to leave the house again. Draw a line. Keep the memories but don't let it become a chain.Sticking to the past is not an option, you have to move on.

Four weeks have passed now since my husband died.

It has been stressful, reassuring, unsettling. From a practical point of view, it's going smoothly, the solicitor is dealing with the 'confimation' process (Scotland!). I had a few unexpected situations which left me convinced that communication beyond death is possible.

I am glad that I took photos and some video sequences during the final days, I've looked at them a few times. And I've spoken to the box with the ashes.

I am moving forward. I've picked a few regular activities during the week: swimming, started playing chess again (after 35 years or so!), booked a short art holiday. I have even gone back to folk dancing - first time was the hardest thing yet, as that is where we met. It was a good event, although I cried during my drive home. I've cleared out most things in the wardrobes. My Christmas project might be painting the bedroom, I certainly don't want to see others' concerned faces and sit through their Christmas as an "Extra".

Why am I telling you all this? It's worth trying to push yourself to leave the house again. Draw a line. Keep the memories but don't let it become a chain.Sticking to the past is not an option, you have to move on.

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