Hi - I am really sorry about your wife. My mother in law who is 80 lost her husband just over 18 months ago and it's really only in the past few months that she has resumed what she feels is a "normal" life. They were together since she was 14/15 so it was a huge adjustment and she was very down/tearful for at least the first year. Her children are in their fifties so probably more supportive/less of a worry than your own quite young kids are? There is no right answer but my mother in law does keep herself super busy - too busy perhaps? And she obviously is retired with lots of hobbies plus she had just got a cat not long before he passed and i do think it helps her to have the company and a reason to get up. It sounds as if you may have PTSD and it could be that counselling could help - maybe medication too? It is completely normal for memories to flood in. Our brains protect us from trauma until we can start to process it. I remember my mother in law saying she felt worse 6-12 months after her husband's death than the few months after. Just because the future looks bleak to you doesn't mean it IS bleak. Depression makes us feel as though thoughts and feelings must be true. Grief doesn't last forever - it does get better in time even if you can't imagine that ever being true x

Hi - I am really sorry about your wife. My mother in law who is 80 lost her husband just over 18 months ago and it's really only in the past few months that she has resumed what she feels is a "normal" life. They were together since she was 14/15 so it was a huge adjustment and she was very down/tearful for at least the first year. Her children are in their fifties so probably more supportive/less of a worry than your own quite young kids are? There is no right answer but my mother in law does keep herself super busy - too busy perhaps? And she obviously is retired with lots of hobbies plus she had just got a cat not long before he passed and i do think it helps her to have the company and a reason to get up. It sounds as if you may have PTSD and it could be that counselling could help - maybe medication too? It is completely normal for memories to flood in. Our brains protect us from trauma until we can start to process it. I remember my mother in law saying she felt worse 6-12 months after her husband's death than the few months after. Just because the future looks bleak to you doesn't mean it IS bleak. Depression makes us feel as though thoughts and feelings must be true. Grief doesn't last forever - it does get better in time even if you can't imagine that ever being true x