My dad died last month and I just felt totally numb. It was kind of a shock he had lung cancer 2 years ago had the lung removed and then chemo. Not long after that he had a lump come up on his chest he convinced me it was just from the surgery.
Stupidly I beloved him but I know he was hiding how ill he really was from me I know he wouldn't want to go though chemo again it made him so I'll. anyway beginning of September he was struggling to breath I called an ambulance, while he was in the hospital they confirmed that the lump on his chest was cancer but it had spread and they wouldn't be able to do treatment .

While he was in the hospital I was a total mess how could I live with out my dad I'm just 25 to younge to lose my dad and then when he died just a few weeks later after being told we would have months I just felt nothing I was totally numb. I kept thinking you have lost the most important person to you why are you doing okay ? Why are you not more upset. How are you going to plan your dads funeral all by yourself? 
Until yesterday ...I had been staying with my dad in his council flat and found out today I probably won't be allowed to keep living there. Even tho Iv had his funeral and I know he's gone this really feels like the final goodbye and I just feel totally broken have not stopped sobbing the whole day. The numbness is gone and I can feel all these emotions hitting me all at once and I just can't cope.. and Iv only felt like this for one day I don't know how I'm going to carry on