Iv lived with my mum my hole life (29 years) and brought my son up with my mum hes now 11.... I cant explain the pain I kno just how u feel... I lost my mum on the 31st august and we laid her to rest on the 22nd on sept.... my mum was my hole world my best friend like yourself I also found out today I now may loose the house I grew up in because its a 3 bedroom and there's only me and my son now, I feel so scared that im gonna loose everything and just be pushed to far over the edge.... iv been coping well up until now, its like you think your doing OK then something else comes crashing in your life I dont understand how taking someone's house away can be ok!!! My mind is such a blur its unreal 

I have contacted citizens advice and they have referred me to shelter who are now trying to help me I would give them a call I hope you get it sorted 

Hi Imissmydad,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad and I offer my deepest condolences. It sounds as if he did his best to conceral the severity of his disease from you, which was laudible. Many people do this to try and save their loved ones further heartbreak, but unfortunately, it can make their final days more of a shock instead. 

I am no doctor, so please forgive my surmisal. You have probably received a terrible shock when you were told in September that his condition was untreatable. You then had to be strong enough to see him through his hospital stay and those final days, before planning his funeral. Many of us go into auto-pilot at this stage. We find that extra adrenalin to get us through the dreadful challenges of this time. It is not until the funeral is over that we begin to feel flat, as we gradually begin to realize the extent of our loss. 

Have you got a nice photo of your Dad? I found it a great help to have a photo of my mum in a prominent place and, often found myself talking to her as I passed by. I do this less now than I used to, but there are still times that I have my little chat - even after 24 years!

It sounds as if you have been dealt a double whammy, with your housing situation. I see that you are now in contact with Shelter and, I sincerely hope that they can help you. Now that you have settled so much, it is only natural that you have let your guard down a little and, are giving into all of the pent up emotions that you've been blocking for the past few months. Crying is a good thing, as it helps to release a lot of your emotions, but it sounds as if you feel totally overwhelmed at present. 

Don't look to the future just now. Take things one day at a time, or even one hour at a time if need be.  If this doesn't help, have you considered seeing a bereavement counsellor? Many people find it a help to get the support and advice of someone who is familiar with this situation. You will once again find the strength to carry on.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are getting on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx