Sorry for your loss I do understand I went through the same thing with my mum and also my sister just keep strong,we never forget we just have to learn to live with it all x

Sorry for your loss, sending you a virtual hug stay strong and treasure your memories x

Debee

I'm so sorry for your loss; we lost our mum to lung cancer 2 weeks ago and yes....people lose loved ones all the time but your feelings are so valid & you should communicate that actively!!!! Your grief matters, you're the only person in the world feeling that and it's personal to you ️ 
 

Sending gentle hugs

Nikki xx 

Thank to you all for commenting & understanding x

Nikki I feel like everything you have said has really touched me thank you, you yourself must be feeling this horrific pain I can imagine it I really can, I am so sorry to hear about your lovely mum too I hope she's as peaceful as can be. I can think of so many words I want to use but putting it nicely it's just cruel so so cruel :-( 

Thank you so much for sharing with me & I know your right it does matter how I feel, I wish I could accept these feelings & understand them.

I have been told councilling is to soon to think of, I have never been through anything like this in my life, but the way I feel if I 100% new & thought I could be with my mum in the next hour I would do anything at all absolutely one million percent.

Am Sorry for your loss & again thank you xx

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice, It makes a lot of sense too!!

My mums funeral is coming up soon so it's going to be a tough few days am just hoping I find the inner strength to stay strong, it doesn't help when your so called support have no interest in your feelings & don't check in, that's one thing I have worked out.. how fake family can be, act all bothered & interested about you in front of people & behind closed doors leave you to rot.... 

Its painful loosing the one who cared & loved me more than anyone else in the world... 

xx

Sending you as much strength as I can for the funeral - I know for me I didn't want to go! Mum hated funerals and although she had asked me to plan her funeral and I had made sure the things she had asked for were done, I just didn't want that final day to come. In the car I felt physically ill but once I was seated inside the chapel I did feel a lot calmer; I hope you find some peace in the service. 
 

I hear you Re the fake family - that's one thing I've found hard, trying to people please to keep peace but also not wanting to be around certain family members who are only sniffing around to see if they can get anything. 
 

There is so much support out there for you though - please reach out to them to help you!! You are the most important thing and your mum would want to make sure you have all the help you can get xx