Hello

Im so sorry for your loss. I can relate to some of what you are going through. My mum passed from exactly the same disease a few days ago aged 72 having never properly started chemo due to infections etc and was only diagnosed in May. I am also an only child but have my dad to support now. Its all such a big shock and very hard to take in and, like you, I feel like life is pointless. Im sure your mum knew how much you loved her. Sometimes we don't need words to tell us that. Our mums just know. Please try take comfort in that. Don't feel guilty about not crying...everyone reacts differently to grief. I cry quite a lot. Crying and not crying are both normal reactions. Our bodies deal with the situation differently. It all feels very bleak at the moment but with time Im sure our situation will get a little easier. 
 

Al 

Hi Al,

I'm also sorry to hear about your mum too I don't know many people that have had the same type because it's so rare my mum passed on Tuesday so it feels like I haven't had time to adjust I just feel like it's happened then I have to plan her funeral it's just hit me all at once, I'm currently staying in my grandas because I can't face going home to all her belongings a few of my friends have lost their mums a couple of years ago so they have been giving me some help with coping and I think I'm going to look into some counselling in the next couple of weeks we used to tell each other we loved each other every minute of the day so I know she did know before she passed but it's my emotions that tell me that when deep down I know she knew how much of a special person to me I hope you're dad is coping as best as he can also. 

I think we are both in the very early stages of grief so everything is all consuming and feels too much. One of my friends who lost her mum a few years ago said that you have to experience all the emotions of grief to be able to get through it. At the moment Im trying to get by hour by hour and I just can't stop thinking of the final hours with mum. Its just a crap time. I hope you are getting support at your grandas which Im sure is helping you. 

I think we are both in the very early stages of grief so everything is all consuming and feels too much. One of my friends who lost her mum a few years ago said that you have to experience all the emotions of grief to be able to get through it. At the moment Im trying to get by hour by hour and I just can't stop thinking of the final hours with mum. Its just a crap time. I hope you are getting support at your grandas which Im sure is helping you. 

Definitely it's hard to explain or even talk about the pain with people who have never experienced it that's what I have been thinking about I should have said this if only I had known because it happened so fast. There's alot of people that have been giving me support but as you have said it is a ***** time I'm always here for anyone if they need a shoulder to cry on.