I get why they are trying to get you out of bed. I understand that you want to be left alone and just to stay there but it wont help your mental health by doing that even if its just getting out of bed daily and sitting downstairs its progress as much as you dont want to. Sometimes it can make you feel worst.

I hear having so many around you and feeling alone is very common too.

Just due to the waiting list it puts you off reaching out for help in a way because of the long waiting list to be honest and its horrible to say that.

Yeah the hospital didnt give us any support either. We didnt even get given his things we had to just pack them up ourselfs. Then got given a booklet on what to do after death and sent on our way.xx

maybe just get out one day and see how you feel. Or even go alone. It doesnt help the weather being so *** but the walk might help release some endorphins.

dont apologies we are just speaking about our losses together which it happends on some of these posts.

yeah it is bad you dont know where to go when it comes to bereavement but like i say cruse or good for a quick offload on there chat.

yeah the booklet had so many things in you just dont look at as its to much to process and just find a way to get through it yourself xx

I actually did have a couple of walks with my friend, but she talked and I listened, which I didn't mind, it meant that I didn't have to talk. And now the weather is crap (I hibernate in winter in general anyway) and the funeral date is looming, its hitting me again and I'm dreading it. The thought of everyone being there and I just want to run. I haven't switched my phone on either, because of texts and photos of my brother.

Me and my brother loved working out too, my brother was lifting the hospital bed a few days before.and jogging a few weeks before, I think that's why it's a shock. He was here one minute, the next he was gone.i was in the middle of a p.t course, just don't even want to think about it. I feel I will never find joy in anything again.

 Have you had a walk or spoke to anyone besides cruse? At least you're going back to work and trying to  keep occupied. As you were dealing for so long, it's time to concentrate on you, as much as its hard to do so. Do what your dad would have loved seeing his daughter do. 

sounds silly but i bet because your friend spoke on there troubles you was focused on that and in a way you forgot about whats going on just for alittle moment because of it. Yea winter isnt good i dont like to go out alot in winter i hate the dark nights. The funeral will be a blur well it was for me i dont remember much or who even went to it to be honest. Dont worry about your phone it will only add to the upset you will turn it on when you are ready.

Thats lovely you and your brother worked out together those will be precious memories. Wow he sounded healthy. Its horrible that they can just change in an instant. My dad actually got up for a shower with help from the nurses a few days before and was walking around his bed so i got told. Then within the space of 48 he was a different person and had gone down hill so quick. The PT course im sure will wait and when you are ready to focus again that is sure to be something you try and complete im sure your brother would have wanted you to aswell do it for him if anyone else when you can concentrate again.

I used to walk alot in lockdown but now not so much i also went to the gym alot as well. The gym was abit of me time when i needed it but ive yet to get focused on going again. Ive spoken on here to people but thats about it currently. Work isnt going great the only good thing is im working from home. Its hard because i cant focus on things i drift off and think of my dad daily and get upset then im so worked up i cant concentrate. I have yet to go in the office yet im dreading the day. Worried how people will be etc planing my escape if i get upset but thats not yet ill go in when im ready.

Yeah i cant focus on myself at the moment life seems pointless without him here

It does, everything seems pointless. Especially as you lived with him and even though he was ill for a while, he was always present, You may not be ready for a while and you don't need to be. Your body and soul need time to heal and who knows when that will be. As long as you heal. 

I am feeling guilty about not hurrying up and coping, which I know I shouldn't be. 

yeah he was always there its very lonely without him. i sit and speak to his picture alot in the day.

We are all different and who knows when we will feel ok again probably never really

While ive been off work I think I assumed after we sorted all the house bills out etc I would just grieve and be done with it but it doesn’t work out like that we cant plan for how long we are like this and it doesn’t just go within a week

Exactly, literally got to take every hour as it comes. X

Hi Ladies

ohh my heart goes out to you both well actually everyone on here that is feeling just you both & me. 
I lost my husband 7 weeks ago & I feel like I've been hit by a bus. Grief is exhausting, it's suffocating & I think we are all learning to survive this madness of a time we are experiencing. 
I do nothing but cry & I mean cry, I'm back to work & feel lower than a snakes belly  

I too use to train everyday but lost the drive for that too. 
 

Ladies can I recommend a book to you. It's called 'It's ok that you're not ok' by Megan Devine. Worth purchasing & reading. I'm convinced the book was written for me!

Hold on tight ladies to the side of the boat that's on the choppy water ~ you'll see me there too & when we get to the shore how proud will they be of us xx 

Huge hugs to you both, keep in touch xx

Thats a lovely message, thank you. I will have a look at that book.I'm so sorry for your loss, it's still so raw and you're right it is exhausting and we are just trying to survive xx