Hi all
New to the forum. It's taken a lot for me to pluck up the courage and post on here. I don't usually feel comfortable opening up about my feelings. However i'm feeling very overwhelmed at present and feel the need to see how people cope in similiar situations such as mine. I recenltly lost my incredible Dad back in February to lung cancer. He had a short battle from diagnosis to his passing (about 3 and a half months). It came as a huge shock to the family as he has alway been in relativley good health. I was ever so close to him, we worked together at the same company 15 years. He was my manager for 12 years and once he got promoted I took over his role as manager and he became the area manager. He taught me the skills to develop myself as a manager and also a father. He was my idol and the epiotme of a father figure whom I looked up to with so much admiration and respect. We were also best friends and shared many interests and loved nothing more than chatting with a beer in hand. So as you can imagine hearing him tell me that he has incurable cancer, my world fell apart. I've always had low confidence but this news completely obliterated what I had. I cried most days and wasrippled with anxiety worrying about when he his time will come. He remained so strong for the family. I tried to stay strong in front of him, but away from him I was broken. He wanted us to remain normal and talk about normal things. However deep down I wanted to ask him how he was and if he was scared but I never did. I was too afraid to hear what he might say. If he said he was scared it would have broken me. He was at home and I was with him when he passed. My world came crashing down knowing he was gone.
Fast forward to now, I feel like I am struggling more than ever to cope with my loss. I keep thinking about life without him and it breaks me. I cry most days and think about him 24/7. However its affecting my life, my work and my marriage. I know its still early and so raw but i would like to hear from people around my age who have been through this and what they did to help themselves. I'm a 32 year old male and my Dad was only 59 when he passed.
Thank you for reading this
