Hello Racey1 and Babyem

I hope the last few days have been more bearable.

The poem is just so moving and says everything in how we feel about our loved ones.

I smiled to myself Babyem when you said "you could here your Kev giggling".

I hope our loved ones have met Racey1 my David got on with everyone and never judged.

You mention signs and Im glad to hear about your central heating (apart from the cost of switching on at this time of year).

We had a pond in our garden and one day when David was out it was visited by a large blue dragonfly. The day after my David passed I pulled the blind at the kitchen window and there in the garden was a large dragonfly. I called our daughter we went out into the garden together.  We have a small garden, the dragonfly flew once around the garden then came up to me hovered practically touching my nose for 5 seconds they went to my daughter stood next to me and then flew around the garden once more and then away it went.

I went to Canada with a friend a couple of years ago and decided to try white water river rafting.  Very tame for beginners thank goodness.  Once we were all on the raft just as it set off a dragon flew above my head.  As we were approaching the end of our time and soaking on the raft just before i got off a dragonfly flew above my head.

My husband had a playstation its still in place where it alwaus was.  when I have a friend of ours over we often chat quite late in the evening on a number of occasions the playstation has turned itself on and after a minute turns itself back off. We always smile and think its my David saying its late!!

I think you are both Babyem and yourself Racey both strong and are and will continue to find ways to cope and have good and bad days with hopefully in time however long that takes to have more of the better days.  There is no right or wrong or length of time to grieve we all cope our way but talking and sharing is a huge help to me also so thank you both.

Keep taking care of yourself both of you one day at a time xx

16 shirts 8 pairs of trousers get that ironing done ~ you're clearly slacking!!
Just like you I think Kevin is going to walk in & call my name. 
I have done nothing but cry tears again today how on earth have I got so many  left in my body. 
I just can't accept that he's not with me anymore the sorrow in me hurts so much. I wish there was just 1 thing that feels a bit better. 
For some unknown reason I can't sleep & keep waking up at 3am so not only do I find grief exhausting but I'm exhausted with everything. 
I'm back to school tomorrow which I'm extremely anxious about but know I have to go & break the ice with seeing everyone perhaps that's why I am feeling like I have these last few days, hey? But tomorrow I'm going to take your words in my foggy brain 'Have a Day'
Bit miserable really aren't I. Why does this suck so much Racey why?
 

Hope you have had a good day 

Hi Leigh

We had very similar to you but with a butterfly & on the day of his funeral a butterfly sat on the ledge of the alter then flew to me & sat by my feet. It's so very odd isn't it. 
As you can see I've struggled big time these few days just overwhelmed by absolutely everything & the slightest thing sets me off I don't just cry I sob & it hits me in waves. 
Back to School tomorrow I hope no one is nice to me :sad:

Grief is overwhelming isn't it how can I have so many tears in my body 

My Kevin is such a lovely kind man & boy did he make me laugh so I hope all their paths have crossed  

I hope you're ok

I said every single day that kisses & hugs are free today & im sure I got on his nerves keep hugging & kissing him but who cares so today I'm sending you & Racey a free hug 

Take the greatest of care xx 

I am sorry about your lovely wife I lost my husband November 2020 and understand how you feeling some days are harder than others so take care of yourself  annie.  X 

Hi Leigh60 & Babyem,

I do believe there are signs, I think but I would like a big sign to appear in front of me saying 'I am here my sweetheart, looking over you and I will watch over you until we are together again'. God, I am crying writing this.

I have often thought of seeing a Medium or Clairvoyant, to get messages from my Fiona, (via a thjirs party) but you never know who is real and who is a fake.

I am a guy, a big guy but that doesn't help, I still cry like a child most day. I thought that, as it is coming up to 10 months since Fiona left, that I would cope better, I am not.

Here's hoping that we all manage to stay strong and be there for each other.  

Hi Babyem,

You are right, I am slacking. I do the washing, dry them and then hang them up for ironing. This load of ironing is hanging up and as I pass it every day and think, I will Iron that lot today but I go into the kitchen and take on another task and forget about the ironing. It started with 3 shirts and a couple of trousers and grew and grew and got out of control. 

I hope your first day at scholl went as well as it could and you coped. I sound like I am talikng to my daughter, 30 years ago.

As I mentioned previously, I have returned to my last job, one day a week as a volunteer and it is good to feel useful and be surrounded by old friends.

You metioned tiredness, I met with friends this morning when we all decided that we would meet every 3 to 4 weeks to have breakfast at different places while we give them a score on taste and value for money. Anyway, after breakfast, I drove one of my mates home. I decided that I wasn't going to go and sit at home so I went to Tesco's. Like you, my sleep pattern have been all over the place, anyway, I parked up, wound  the recliner part of my seat down, before getting out and laid back. I woke 2 hours later. Looking around trying to work out where I was and remembered but it was a deep, deep sleep. I probably won't sleep at all tonight.

 Anyway, Sausage & Mash tonight (from a pack).

I do have other sayings and poems, so when you feel a little low, I will find a saying or poem that will get you aout of that slump.

Take care x

Hi Annie,

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. As you probably know, it has been really hard without my Fiona but to make things worse, we have to go through dates that were important. Like yourself, Fiona dies during the lockdown which made coping more difficult. I dealt with the Cremation Service 3 weeks later. Then Christmas rears it's ugly head. Then New Years Eve, Fiona's Birthday was 9 January. There is no let up and the pain just gets worse. It is September and the next really hard date to cope with is the first anniversary of Fiona's death. It's neverending.

You don't need to chat about your husband if you don't want, I really do understand. But, if you want to chat on this site, I am here. I probably won't be able to help but I will try to lighten things when I can.

Take care

I just signed on to see if you're ok & saw that you have only just put a message on here. Have to say you did make me laugh which is a dam sight better than the

tears that have left my eyes just recently & today was no exception I lasted until lunchtime & couldn't stand anymore everyone was too nice to me! & I did nothing but cry. So brought my work home which was fine. The Head has just texted me to say do mornings only for a bit just to help me which I think I might take her up on this suggestion. 
 

That's a nice thing to do to meet up with friends for breakfast my favourite meal of the day!

2 hours you must have needed it  im surprised no one knocked on your window to see if you're ok.  You'll be up till late tonight, finish your ironing! so bossy :happy:

Love one line sayings so always send them  

I see Fiona was born in January all good babies are born in January :wink::happy: 

Hope your evening, well what's left of it, is ok & sleep man!

Night 

Hi Babyem,

It was always going to be difficult on your first day back but, as you say, the more people are nicer to you, the more tearful you become. 

I went to bed at midnight and went  straight off to sleep (hooray)...............................................and woke uip at 4 am (groan). I could not get back to sleep, so many things going through my head so, I got up at 6 am and as today is my one day a week that I volunteer at work, I though that I would drive into work early, stop at a lay-by nearby and have a nap. I slept for 40 minutes and was raring to go.

Did you notice my level of education in my last post to you? I stated that 'I hope your first day at scholl goes well'  1/10.

Do you hate weekends? I could do without them.

Now, yoour comment on Birthdays, Birthdays in January is totally irresponsible. Presents for Christmas and again a couple of weeks later. Now, my Birthday took a lot of thought. I was born           17 June, right in the middle of the year so I have 6 months to wait til Christmas presents then another 6 months to wait til Birthdays presents. (that makes 6 pairs of socks, and a bottle Lynx).

Here is another slightly longer but also helpful wording:

If the mountain seems too big today, then climb a hill instead. If the morning brings you sadness, it's ok to stay in bed. If the day ahead weighs heavy and your plans feel like a curse, there's no shame in rearranging: don't make yourself feel worse. If a shower stings like needles and a bath feels like you'll drown, if you haven't washed your hair for days don't throw away your crown. A day is not a lifetime, a rest is not a defeat. Don't think of it as failure, just a quiet, kind retreat. It's ok to take a moment from an anxious, fractured mind. The world will not stop turning while you get realigned. The mountain will still be there when you want to try again. You can climb it in your own time. Just love yourself til then.

Take care, chat soon