HI [@22anniexxx]‍ 

I'm very sorry to hear about your mum and everything you are going through. A lot of us on here can relate to your situation and the feelings you have now.

My mum died in March of pancreatic cancer after being diagnosed in February. I also went through a deeply traumatic time from the moment of her diagnosis to her death and the months after. Unfortunately, a lot of friends really don't provide the support because death is still a taboo subject, and they just get on and lead their own lives whilst you are going through an awfully sad time.

From my own experience, I can say that things do get easier, and eventually you stop thinking about those 'last few traumatic weeks' when your loved one was really sick. However, I did go through bereavement counselling and without someone to talk to, things would have been significantly harder for me.

If you feel like you need help, please don't be afraid to reach out to your G.P or contact the people at an organisation such as https://www.cruse.org.uk/.

Take care.

Hi iam sorry to here that I no what you are saying  my mum was diagnosed with  liver cancer  end of January  2021 I dint have long with my mum she passed away 4tf February  iam crushed  in side I never got to say bye to mum iv been in bed for weeks  just crying  I don't want to  know  anything anymore  am lost and hurting that's all for now 

[@EllaM]‍ 

I am sorry for your loss and how you are feeling now. But, please don't be hard on yourself for not having the chance to say goodbye to your mum. Things happened so fast and I suspect you were probably shocked, confused , deeply upset among other emotions. I know I was when my mum was diagnosed. 

Life can be so cruel and how you are feeling now is part of grieving. However, do not be afraid ask for help if you feel you need it. Try looking at cruse.org.uk. it's a good place to start. 

It was your last line that hit me

My Dad said that repeatedly after my Mum passed just at the and of July. They had been together for 70+ years.

I'm a lot older than you Annie, and I miss my Mum too. That said, at her funeral, I pushed myself to say words, and the most important were "my Mum wouldnt want me to be miserable jsut because she'd died". I absolutety know this to be true.

Grief is ***. But it is just part of what we feel as good people.I absolutely, 100% know my Mum wouldnt want me putting my life on hold. So I feell sad when its ok, toast her with a wee whisky when I can, and honour her passing by being as good and positive as I can be. Its incredibly hard, but the alternative is worse