My mum passed away at only 56 last month from leiomyosarcoma that began in her leg and spread to her lungs. I feel completely broken, she was only unwell for 6 months before she passed. She was a healthy woman, never smoked or drank. Watching her in her final days has haunted me and I don't know how to deal with any of these feelings that I'm having. I miss her so much. I guess I just wanted to put my feelings out somewhere as I find it so hard to talk about and everything seems like a dream. I feel so guilty that is wasn't me. When I got the call to go to the hospital when she was slipping away I didn't make it in time and just sat there with her for hours after she passed holding her hand. Everything about that room and how she looked is still so vivid and just in my mind constantly and I think I have some form of PTSD from it all. I've went back to work but I will just be chatting with a co worker and suddenly the image of that room and her in that bed comes into my mind and it won't leave me alone. I don't know if I should see a doctor or if they will tell me it's just the grief and send me away. It's now affecting my sleep and everyday functioning.
