Hi Tc2001,

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss and I wanted to send a reply to offer condolences. I can only imagine how difficult this must be at the moment.

It does often help to speak to others, but I understand this can be difficult. If you're finding it tough to speak to family and friends, hopefully this forum can be a safe space for you to write things down and also to reach out to others in similar situations.

If you're struggling I would also encourage you to have a look at Cruse, who offer resources and support - including a helpline - for those who have lost a loved one.

Hopefully you'll receive further replies soon from others on the forum. We're always here for support if you need it.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator

Hi [@Tc2001]‍ 

Firstly, I am sorry about your father and the terrible time you have had over the last few years. Life can be so cruel, cancer is a horrible disease and the things we have to watch happen to our loved ones is just heart-breaking. My mum died of pancreatic cancer in March, and I was alone in caring for her - I loved her so much, and when she died I was devastated. Like you, I could not talk to my family and friends didn't know how to talk to me, so I just felt so alone. Speaking from my own experience, it is good to let your emotions out as much as possible, but it is also essential that you talk to someone about it, so that your emotions can 'really' come out.

After mum died, I reached out for bereavement counselling, and it really really helped. Since you are so young, I do feel that it is vital that you talk to a counsellor. They are amazing people and are trained to help. As the moderator here suggested, https://www.cruse.org.uk/ might be a good starting point. I think there is a phone number on there that you can call if you feel like it.

Also, people like me on here are all here for you because we have all been through the pain of grief.

Take care.