Hi,

My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband a few weeks ago after 18 months of chemo sessions, asites, tummy drains and it was torturous to watch the strong man you love and know be attacked by such a cruel disease and to become so ill. My husband made me promise not to break down in front of him because it would make him weak and he wanted to fight all the way and never accepted he was fighting a losing battle. I tried hard (even though I was devastated/panicked for the future and did cry most days and only had a couple of slip ups in front of him but I knew he wanted me to be strong too.

For your sake, you HAVE to accept there is nothing YOU can do that can make him 'better,' which as a loving wife/partner/mum is the only thing you want to do, and I think in my case, it was a realisation that stopped me from becoming hysterical.  Put all your efforts into telling him how much you love him, touch him, kiss him as much and as often as you can, promise him you'll be strong for you and your son (even though your heart is breaking). Just love him , that's all you can do.

The promises I made to my husband are the only things that keep me going some days, and I do rest at night knowing that I said everything to him I wanted to say.  Even this I look at as a blessing as a friend lost her husband in a road accident and she never had that chance.

My thoughts are truly with you at this desperately sad, frightening, surreal time. 

Hi,

My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband a few weeks ago after 18 months of chemo sessions, asites, tummy drains and it was torturous to watch the strong man you love and know be attacked by such a cruel disease and to become so ill. My husband made me promise not to break down in front of him because it would make him weak and he wanted to fight all the way and never accepted he was fighting a losing battle. I tried hard (even though I was devastated/panicked for the future and did cry most days and only had a couple of slip ups in front of him but I knew he wanted me to be strong too.

For your sake, you HAVE to accept there is nothing YOU can do that can make him 'better,' which as a loving wife/partner/mum is the only thing you want to do, and I think in my case, it was a realisation that stopped me from becoming hysterical.  Put all your efforts into telling him how much you love him, touch him, kiss him as much and as often as you can, promise him you'll be strong for you and your son (even though your heart is breaking). Just love him , that's all you can do.

The promises I made to my husband are the only things that keep me going some days, and I do rest at night knowing that I said everything to him I wanted to say.  Even this I look at as a blessing as a friend lost her husband in a road accident and she never had that chance.

My thoughts are truly with you at this desperately sad, frightening, surreal time.