[@cmcmc]‍ 

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that you've lost your lovely dad so suddenly. I know all too well the shock of this and how it just doesn't feel real. I lost my Mum on 15th May to very aggressive lung cancer. We only got her cancer diagnosis 3 days before she died. She only went to the doctors 6 weeks prior because she had a lump on her neck and she was feeling a bit fatigued and breathless. She had no other symptoms and was still out and about and working. She was 68. It's hard to get your head around someone being here and then suddenly just not isn't it? I keep expecting my Mum to show up at my door.

Just take one day at a time and be kind to yourself. I agree, writing it all down does help and I've started journaling to deal with my grief. There are many kind people on this forum going through similar experiences and we're all here to support each other where we can.

I'm here if you'd like to chat further.

Look after yourself,

J xxx

Does it ever start to make sense? I still can't get my head around why this happened. I know logically people get sick and die, but I can't actually make my mind understand what happened my dad. I saw him every day of my life and to just have that disappear doesn't make sense, I keep thinking it's just not real

in the age of zoom I just rewatch the funeral over and over, not sure if it's actually helpful but it's been the only thing that's given me comfort over the past few days 

I'm so so sorry you're going through this journey too. It's honestly the most heart wrenching thing, I only thought I knew loss before this. Sometimes don't even know how I manage to get through the days

[@cmcmc]‍ 

first of all My sinsere condolances on your recent loss - I have also lost my father just a week ago and I can relate to your feelings. We had one hell of a journey with dad starting nearly 5 years ago following a blood cancer digagnosus. He was doing really well but developed complications which ultimately led to his unexpected death - about 3 weeks after getting good news about his cancer - he was on holiday and enjoying a family bbq the day before he was taken to hospital - happened a few times where he was taken in - sorted out and back out in 4 days - unfortunalty not this time....I miss him so much, as like you I bent his ear on everything and no matter how much nonsense I talked he always listened....I know with time we will adapt to life without him by using comping mecahnaisms. I am in my early 30,s and at times feel robbed as I journey through life without him. I do know that we will get through it - there is nothing else for it and that sometime in distance it will get easier. 
 

"Along the road of suffering, you found a little lane, that took you up to heaven and ended all your pain. You may be out of sight, we may be worlds apart, but you are always in our prayers and forever in our hearts"

Sadly I don't think it ever will make sense. It's hard at times not to think "why did my Mum have to die young when so many go on to live to old age. Why her?" It's an answer I'll never have and it's tough to get my head around. 

I know exactly what you mean by thinking you knew loss before this. I feel the same way; this has been the worst thing I've ever gone through even though my Dad died when I was 15. My Mum and I formed a special bond after his death and it doesn't feel real that I'll never get to see her again. The past 7 weeks for me has been a complete blur and I don't know how I've got through my days either. I'm finding strength from somewhere and trying to find positivity where I can as I know that's what my Mum would have wanted for me.

[@dipper121]‍ I'm in my early 30s too and also feel robbed of a life without my Mum. I find at this age none of my friends understand and are not particularly helpful as they have never experienced losing a parent. I'm finding it very isolating but sadly I know there are so many like us who have lost a parent too soon.

Just trying to take one day at a time,

J xxx

It is my 36th birthday on Friday, will be what should've been my parents 42nd wedding anniversary next Tuesday and honestly dreading all these days - they're arbitrary in so many ways, and most times big deals weren't made out of them but *now* they feel like huge deals

I am so sorry for your lost your dad at such a young age as well as losing your mum, you seem to have such strength about you and I hope Incan follow suit. I showered today for the first time since the funeral (gross but I didn't care), then cut my parents grass. I'm 5'0 tall and weigh 6 1/2 stone, took a lot of strength to get his petrol mower going but knew my dad would want his garden looking nice still. I felt a little better for doing these things but the feelings only lasted for about 5 minutes and then back to utter despair

@dipper121 that's horrific that you were all getting good news and then it's just stolen away again, cancer is so unfair in how it works. I mostly have no idea how I will get through it, but just trying to make it through these early days the best I can. They seem so slow but I also looking back have no idea what I've done during them? I am so so sorry for your loss 

Hi [@cmcmc]‍ 

Reading your thread, well I feel so sad for you and send hugs. My mum died about 5 weeks after diagnosis in march and I'm just having one of those overwhelming moments. 12 days is so quick and these terrible events turn our lives upside down. I feel for you. 

All my love ️