Lost my mum to cancer in April

I lost my beautiful mum to leukemia. She went threw hell and back. Wr did too watching her go threw hell, after my dad had a cardiac arrest a few months before. He's suffered severe brain damage. He's still in hospital. I can't come to terms with the evilness of what's happened to my wonderful parents. Only 60s. Both fought cancer twice. To see what's happened am absolutely devastated feel like my heart has been ripped out. I have four children to look after from 20 to 10. They don't seem to understand how bad i feel. They play up so much so unruly. I am so angry misrible and depressed. I can't carry on like i am. The kids dad hardly see them. There just let to me and they run rings around me. Am so unhappy i can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to run away. Me and my ex went threw a bad separation at the same time. He'd admitted to cheating and me and lied about so much. That killed me. I really didn't think my life could get any lower. Than oh yes it really could. No family or friends have even been there for me. People run when your life's not good. Well that's been my experience my whole life..

  • Hi Nataliemaria,

    Welcome to Cancer Chat. I'm so sorry to hear of everything you've been through and are still going through. I can only imagine how incredibly tough this all is, it sounds like a lot to deal with.

    Hopefully there are a few people around you that you can speak to. I also hope that this forum can be a small source of support to you - even if it's simply as a safe space for you to write things down and to reach out to others.

    If you'd like to explore some professional support, Cruse offer a helpline and other resources for those who have experienced bereavement. It may also help to reach out to a counsellor as someone to talk things through with and perhaps help with processing things. There is a directory here which may be helpful.

    Keep looking after yourself as much as you can. Find time where possible to do things you enjoy, and to take time just for you. Keep speaking to others, and we are always here for you on the forum also.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thanks Ben am really struggling. Bad with depression and anxiety. I have phoned 6 degrees. Hope they can help me. Thamks for your reply and thanks for the information. Natalie