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Lost my mum

Mari123
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Hi

I am really just posting my experience to talk about it and see if anyone else gone through similar recently. 

My mum was diagnosed end of 2020, stage 3 ovarian cancer and she was given some tablets to try and slow the spread as was unable to get surgery/chemo.  In February we were told tablets were unfortunately not working... this is when we discussed life expectancy. She was told 'months, not years' 

I did not think it would be quite so soon, she deteriorated from April, however was still talking, right up until she passed away.

I came on this forum on 2nd May as I had feared we were getting closer and closer to the end, mainly due to her breathing sleeping more often and unable to eat/drink much. It turns out my gut instinct was right, she passed away on 8th May, I was holding her hand and we were reminiscing about holidays etc right up to the end.

I feel like I couldn't have had a better experience in terms of being with her at the end, I just miss her more and more each day. Seeing her pass away is still so vivid in my mind too.

I thought we would have had longer, she was my best friend. I am an only child and lost my dad 11 years ago too. I have a great husband and lovely friends but you just don't feel you can keep talking about it all the time, I want to move on but I'm just sad my new normal is without her here.

Anyway, long post, sorry and thanks if you've read this far.

xx  

Parents
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    Hi [@Mari123]‍ 

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your Mum.

    I read your post and wanted to reply as my experience is similar to yours. I lost my Mum to very aggressive lung cancer on 15th May. Like you, I thought we would have longer with her. We had to phone an ambulance for her as she was very weak and breathless one morning but she chatting away apologising to the  first responders for being in her pjs and joking that she hadn't had a chance to straighten her hair; she certainly didn't seem like someone who was going to pass away hours later.

    I also lost my Dad many years ago and I'm in my 30s too. It feels so young to lose both parents. Adjusting to the new normal is hard isn't it? I don't think there's a minute that goes by where I don't think about my Mum. I'm trying to move on but everything is tinged with sadness, life is a bit greyer now.

    I'm here if you'd like to chat some more. I've found chatting on here with others who have had similar experiences is helpful.

    Take care xx

  • Offline in reply to Dexter123

    Hi Dexter123

    Thanks for your reply, I'm sorry to hear you've lost both your parents too. 
    I know they will always be with us but I agree, I feel everything is just tinged with sadness. I think of things my kids are doing that I would normally love to share with her, I'm sad she's missing seeing them grow up, even for a few more years. 
    Once diagnosed, cancer just seems to spread so fast! It's hard to accept sometimes. 
     

    Thanks, this forum seems really good. I'm here if you need a chat too x

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  • Offline in reply to Dexter123

    Hi Dexter123

    Thanks for your reply, I'm sorry to hear you've lost both your parents too. 
    I know they will always be with us but I agree, I feel everything is just tinged with sadness. I think of things my kids are doing that I would normally love to share with her, I'm sad she's missing seeing them grow up, even for a few more years. 
    Once diagnosed, cancer just seems to spread so fast! It's hard to accept sometimes. 
     

    Thanks, this forum seems really good. I'm here if you need a chat too x

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