Hey. 
I am really sorry to hear about your mum. I lost my mum in March 2021, and I have felt all kinds of emotions- including feeling numb. 
It's normal to feel these emotions. I think the feeling numb, is a state of shock, and you're currently on survival mode. Either way, I want you to know, it's okay to feel any emotion. 
You have lost your mum, the person that carried you for 9 months, the person that loved you unconditionally. This is one of the greatest losses you'll ever go through in life, if not the worst loss, so please don't be so hard on yourself. It's okay to feel nothing, or everything at once. Just know you're not alone. 
 

It's still early days. Allow yourself to process what has happened, grieve, cry, scream, shout. It's okay. 
 

With time, the pain won't be as intense, and you'll learn to live with the loss. But you'll cherish all the memories you had with your mum. She is a part of you, your mum is half of you.

Sending you lots of love and prayers. Xxx

I have since come to realise that there are no hard and fast rules in this grief. I have had so many emotions since writing this original post it's hard to even put in to words. Thank you for your reply. It definitely helped. Baby steps xx

I have since come to realise that there are no hard and fast rules in this grief. I have had so many emotions since writing this original post it's hard to even put in to words. Thank you for your reply. It definitely helped. Baby steps xx