You learn to live with it as time goes on. You will be able to talk about her without getting upset all the time, remember happy times with love and fondness. 

My mum passed away in January I miss her every day especially as I'm going through breast cancer right now. There are times I can sit and just talk to her photo and other times I cry. 

4 weeks is early days so don't beat yourself up.

Look after yourself 

Louise x

Hiya I feel exact same . I lost my mum 13 days ago to lung cancer she struggled for 27 months then in the end it was awful for her . I miss her so so much and can't get those last few days out my head I can't unsee / unhear it.  Everything reminds me of her we were best pals as well as mother and daughter , together 24/7. This is crazy I know it is when I say it but I can't turn the tv on for so many reasons things will remind me of her , funeral adverts etc but most of all I feel if I turn tv on I'm happy to be relaxing and getting on with my life as if she didn't exist. I know she would be saying come on Joanne get the tv on that's daft but I just can't . I feel just the same as you every hour of every day is hard for me but I know it's not as hard as every hour of every day my poor mum has recently!  I miss her and it hurts but I didn't want her to suffer . I will never accept this but I need to try somehow to move forward like she would have wanted . Take care lots of love .. here anytime xx

Thank you both for taking the time to reply to my post during such difficult times for the both of you.

[@lappy2301]‍ I'm so sorry that you had to watch your Mum suffer. I imagine that was indescribably difficult. My Mum passed away very suddenly, only 3 days after her diagnosis. She had only been feeling poorly 2 weeks before her diagnosis, but nothing severe enough to stop her with daily life. She was still out and about running errands and going to work. The shock and suddenness of all this for me has been the hardest, as I can't get my head around how someone could have such an aggressive form of cancer and not know until it was too late. I find myself mostly grieving for the life she lost, it's unfair she didn't get to grow old. She also missed the birth of her granddaughter, born the day after her funeral.

Like you, my Mum was my best friend. My Dad died 16 years ago, my older siblings have families of their own but I don't, so it felt like Mum and I were our own wee team. I don't know how I'm going to navigate the rest of my life without her. There's been so many things I've wanted to talk to her about over this past 4 weeks already.

I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to get on with life as if she didn't exist. If I've laughed over something recently I've then burst into tears immediately after as I felt guilty for laughing when she doesn't get to ever again. I also tried to have a coffee with a friend and ended up having a panic attack in the cafe as it just felt too 'normal' a thing to do after her passing. I'm on a waiting list for grief counselling sessions I hope will help with this as I simply don't know how to even begin to move on or cope without her.

I hope you have people around you to support you and that you're trying to get some sleep and look after yourself. Please do reach out to me if you need to talk or vent.

Take good care,

J