I've literally just posted. I'm so sorry for you loss. I lost my gorgeous mom in April and I'm honestly so distraught.

I understand completely how you feel. I was in complete shock, numb and in denial until recently.

Everything has just got me and I am an emotional mess most days. I didn't really cry properly for awhile due to the shock. 

My mom was diagnosed at stage 4 and lived a year. She suffered from start to finish really and I carer for her, worked and have two small kids. Thankfully my amazing fiance took on the role of a single parent lost days as my mom's needs increased. It's sole destroying.

I'm getting flash backs now of situations or hard parts of her leading up to her dieing and it's beyond painful going over it all.

She died while in my presence and that alone is consuming me how that happened. I expected it to be peaceful but it didn't happen like that. I'm traumatized and I would be surprised if I'm dealing with PTSD. I saw so much and handled so much and it's only now she's gone it's effecting me. While she was here I got on with it always putting on a brave face but now she's gone Im struggling.

When I realise my mom is no longer walking this earth it takes my breath away literally. I can't breath and I get inconsolable. I feel so sad for what she went through, how it all happened. I miss her beyond words so I know what you feel xx

I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my Mum recently and she was also 68. She passed only 3 days after diagnosis. She had lung cancer that was advanced and had spread to her lymph nodes. I'm still trying to get my head around how she could seem so fit and well and then suddenly be gone; it all happened so fast.

It's been just over 3 weeks since my Mum's death and I haven't yet been able to return to work. I got a sick note from my doctor for 4 weeks. Is this something you think you could do to give you time to grieve properly?

I don't have any advice to give on how to handle this sudden loss as I'm new to this grief myself. Just know that you are not alone and that everyone on this forum is kind and supportive.

Take good care

Hiya I feel Your pain I lost my beautiful mum and best friend 9 days ago ! My heart is broken Iv just no idea how people move forward. My life was so busy caring for her for 2 long hard years and now nothing ... I will Never accept this but I guess I need to try move forward like she would have wanted but it's soo hard xx

Hi Tilly 

I'm so sorry about your Mum.
My lovely Mum also died  aged 68, in January just a few short months after diagnosis. It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with, as like you, my Mum was my best friend.  So I do relate to how you are feeling. 

Like some of the other respondents to your post my Mum's death was relatively sudden, with only a few months between her diagnosis and death. And she had always been very healthy and active throughout her life, so the shock of this has been one of the hardest things to process 

Having got through the first few months what I would say is to try to take the time to sit with your grief and don't rush things, be kind to yourself and try to make room for a little self care, even if you don't feel like it. 

I try to remember that my Mum would want me to keep going and make the best of life, even though it will never be the same without her. It is hard I know...

I hope this helps a little.