I'm so sorry for your loss. I too lost my Mum recently and she was also 68. She passed only 3 days after diagnosis. She had lung cancer that was advanced and had spread to her lymph nodes. I'm still trying to get my head around how she could seem so fit and well and then suddenly be gone; it all happened so fast.

It's been just over 3 weeks since my Mum's death and I haven't yet been able to return to work. I got a sick note from my doctor for 4 weeks. Is this something you think you could do to give you time to grieve properly?

I don't have any advice to give on how to handle this sudden loss as I'm new to this grief myself. Just know that you are not alone and that everyone on this forum is kind and supportive.

Take good care

Hiya I feel Your pain I lost my beautiful mum and best friend 9 days ago ! My heart is broken Iv just no idea how people move forward. My life was so busy caring for her for 2 long hard years and now nothing ... I will Never accept this but I guess I need to try move forward like she would have wanted but it's soo hard xx

Hi Tilly 

I'm so sorry about your Mum.
My lovely Mum also died  aged 68, in January just a few short months after diagnosis. It is the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with, as like you, my Mum was my best friend.  So I do relate to how you are feeling. 

Like some of the other respondents to your post my Mum's death was relatively sudden, with only a few months between her diagnosis and death. And she had always been very healthy and active throughout her life, so the shock of this has been one of the hardest things to process 

Having got through the first few months what I would say is to try to take the time to sit with your grief and don't rush things, be kind to yourself and try to make room for a little self care, even if you don't feel like it. 

I try to remember that my Mum would want me to keep going and make the best of life, even though it will never be the same without her. It is hard I know...

I hope this helps a little. 
 

JenM - you really describe the experience well.  I also feel traumatised by seeing my Mum die.  No one ever told me that death can happen like that, like a slow motion deterioration.  My Mum started sleeping all day, then eating less and less.  One day she could not stand and became incontinent.  The confusion and delerium then set in.  It was horrific and all the medical staff just expected the family to know what was going on - they had no compassion - I guess they see it every day.   
My Mum was an amazing lady, really competent and strong and to see her like she was at the end has broken my heart and I think that part of my heart will be broken forever.

liz x