Not ready to lose my dad

Sorry for the rubbish title but kind of sums it up. My dad has always been a hero to me and its hard to watch him suffering now physically and emotionally. I am a 42 year old man and perhaps I should be able to deal with this better, I always thought I would be able to but maybe I'm not ad strong as I thought. 

 

My dad was admitted with to hospital at the end of November with confusion and loss of some cognitive skills. They found a cluster of tumors on his brain, then later they found it was NSC lung cancer that had metastasis to his brain, adrenal glads and bones. It took what felt like a lifetime for him to finally start treatment with stereotatic radiotherapy on his brain at the end of January due to covid delays. He then had surgery on his hip as the cancer had destroyed his hip before finally starting palliative chemo in April. The Chemo has made him very unwell and landed him in hospital after the last two sessions with infections and blood clots.

I feel a bit useless as my mum is doing all of the care as I live 200 miles from them. We travel back as much as possible and I know they love seeing the grandkids. 

I wonder a lot about my dad's life expectancy as if I believed google he would not be with us now but I am frustrated that nobody has been straight with him over this as he often talks in terms of full recovery and I can't believe that will happen. On the other hand though in his position maybe I would want to believe the same.

 

Sorry to bang on 

 

A

 

Parents
  • Hi A,

     

    I hope you are well, and I'm terribly sorry to hear about your dad. 
     

    I couldn't pass by and not comment, as I'm in a similar situation. My dad has recently been diagnosed with bone and lung cancer, and I cannot describe how much it hurts. It physically pains me to even think about my life or my future without my dad in it, whenever I do I feel like my heart is going to explode with pain. 
     

    My dads treatment hasn't started yet, which is frustrating. He has some kidney issues which they need to sort out first, before they can start any chemotherapy. As you said, it feels like we are waiting a lifetime for them to start treatment. 

    I don't really know how to cope with it. I don't know how to be strong. I don't know what to say or do. I don't know what the future holds - All these things I don't know absolutely terrify me. 
     

    I just wanted to comment to reassure you that you are not alone.  All we can do is stay positive, and stay strong for our wonderful, wonderful fathers.

     

    xx

Reply
  • Hi A,

     

    I hope you are well, and I'm terribly sorry to hear about your dad. 
     

    I couldn't pass by and not comment, as I'm in a similar situation. My dad has recently been diagnosed with bone and lung cancer, and I cannot describe how much it hurts. It physically pains me to even think about my life or my future without my dad in it, whenever I do I feel like my heart is going to explode with pain. 
     

    My dads treatment hasn't started yet, which is frustrating. He has some kidney issues which they need to sort out first, before they can start any chemotherapy. As you said, it feels like we are waiting a lifetime for them to start treatment. 

    I don't really know how to cope with it. I don't know how to be strong. I don't know what to say or do. I don't know what the future holds - All these things I don't know absolutely terrify me. 
     

    I just wanted to comment to reassure you that you are not alone.  All we can do is stay positive, and stay strong for our wonderful, wonderful fathers.

     

    xx

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