Sorry for the rubbish title but kind of sums it up. My dad has always been a hero to me and its hard to watch him suffering now physically and emotionally. I am a 42 year old man and perhaps I should be able to deal with this better, I always thought I would be able to but maybe I'm not ad strong as I thought.
My dad was admitted with to hospital at the end of November with confusion and loss of some cognitive skills. They found a cluster of tumors on his brain, then later they found it was NSC lung cancer that had metastasis to his brain, adrenal glads and bones. It took what felt like a lifetime for him to finally start treatment with stereotatic radiotherapy on his brain at the end of January due to covid delays. He then had surgery on his hip as the cancer had destroyed his hip before finally starting palliative chemo in April. The Chemo has made him very unwell and landed him in hospital after the last two sessions with infections and blood clots.
I feel a bit useless as my mum is doing all of the care as I live 200 miles from them. We travel back as much as possible and I know they love seeing the grandkids.
I wonder a lot about my dad's life expectancy as if I believed google he would not be with us now but I am frustrated that nobody has been straight with him over this as he often talks in terms of full recovery and I can't believe that will happen. On the other hand though in his position maybe I would want to believe the same.
Sorry to bang on
A
