I lost my beautiful mum 3weeks ago now. I stayed so strong for her all way through and towards the end. It wasn't pleasant what my mum went through as she was in a hell of a lot of pain, I wanted it to be so peaceful and calming for her, it was eventually in the very end but it was hurrendous for her just before she passed. I tend to think a lot about if or how I could have done anything different so she wasn't in any pain, and seeing her in so much pain is always in my mind, I just wish I could focus on happy memories. I thought I was coping quite well, but the grief is starting to hit me properly now, and I don't know how to deal with it and what the right or wrong way is. I feel like I just constantly need to be on my own in peace, it's like I don't want to come to terms with losing my mum and I don't want to talk about it. I am not a confident person whatsoever and really struggle to open up and talk to people. How do you cope with losing someone so special and dear to your heart? I just feel like I can't go on without her. 
 

xx