Hi

Sorry to read your post and sending you lots of love.

I understand your numbness and shock of your news.

It must be so hard to concentrate on your uni work but it sounds like your Mum wanted you to do well and not worry. Focus on doing your degree for your Mum and making her proud. I really believe she'll be there with you. 

One day at a time and you'll get there.

xx

Hi.  I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum.  It is a very difficult loss to take. I lost my mum 8 years ago but I was 55 then.  You are so young and have lost her during this awful pandemic time.  You mothers tend to want the very best for their children, which is why she was willing you forward with your degree.  I also doubt she would have wanted you to see her failing towards the end.  Perhaps it is best you remember her when she was at her best, happy and smiling.  I know if my results are bad I will be dreading my family see me fade in front of them.  So do your best.  Each day just do your best.  You can do no more. Perhaps your Uni.has a counselling service if it might help you to talk about the whole experience.  Don't beat yourself up if you need to ask for a little more time to get your work done.  Take care of yourself x

Hey

I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I'm in the exact same situation as you. I'm 17 and I lost my mum to cancer about a month ago. She had been getting treatment and the last we heard, her tumour was shrinking. She was completely fine and normal until a week before she passed. She started having trouble breathing and even talking sometimes. I was worried but I thought that she would just get better soon. She collapsed on a Friday and was rushed to the A&E. I wasn't allowed to see her until Sunday, but the whole weekend I just tried to stay positive and hopeful that she would make it through this. When we got the news from the hospital that she had passed later that Sunday, I was so shocked. The first few weeks were the worst. I had panic attacks, sleepless nights and worries. I had lots of dreams of her surviving and I would waking up just wishing that was reality. She was the person I was closest to in the world, my best friend, we did everything together, I talked to her about everything. I went through so many emotions. I felt guilty. Guilt about every little thing, like times I could come with her shopping because I was at work, or times that I didn't do the dishes when she asked me to. I found myself apologising to her in my head a lot. I also felt angry at times. Angry because my mum was truly the most amazing women I know and she deserved a better life than this. She suffered a lot in her life and for it to end like this, it just felt unfair. We were yet to have gone on our first proper holiday and we had so many plans for the summer. Moreover I felt just sad and alone. She was the only proper family I had here and without her I don't think I will survive in this life. I genuinely cannot imagine my future without my mum. Can't imagine going to uni without texting her all the time. There are moments where I just need her and I get overwhelmed with the fact that she never gonna be here for me again and it's all just too much. I'm still trying to find a way to cope, and to be able to live without talking to her everyday. The house is so much more dull without her, she was the life of the party. I find myself locking myself in my room and lying in bed, just staring at the ceiling. Wanting to stay in bed all day. Wanting to sleep all day. There are nights where I say I've given up with everything and with life and I truly don't want to be here anymore. I have no interest in living without the one person I loved the most. I miss her an incredible amount that I could never describe. I've had one online counselling session and was told not to be hard on myself and to carry on doing what's right for me and to imagine what my mum would say if she was her, how proud she would be of me and how she would hug me. That helps me power through things sometimes, but not always honestly. I was also told to light a candle at night and think of my mum as the light in the dark which was comforting to me. I'm sorry if this hasn't given you the answers you were looking for, I myself am still trying to cope and come to terms with everything but I hope you know you're not alone in this journey. We'll get through this together x

Hi,

Thank you so much for replying , I am so so sorry you are also going through the same thing, I know nothing I say can take away what's happened but I'm always here for you to vent to if you need it. I get exactly what you mean, it's hard to sleep knowing she isn't here, and when I do sleep I wake up still feeling tired and awful. Please take care of yourself, maybe go on a walk a day, even if you don't feel like getting out of bed, just to get some fresh air - that's what I've been trying to do and while it hasnt fixed things walking around and seeing oeooke be normal in their everyday business is weirdly comforting. Its unfair we are having to go through this , especially when it's truethat a mum is a best friend. I'm just going with time these emotions  get easier as they're so hard to deal with right now 

Sending you lots of love  xx

Hi,.

Thank you so much for reply, its helped a lot putting into perspective what my mum would want me to do. Even though its incredibly painful to think of graduating uni without her I want to do my best so she will be proud of me. I'm also really sorry for your loss ,and hope your doing ok now. Thank you for the reply it helped a lot xx