Hello FJ and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat! 

You are definitely not selfish at all. You have lost your mum too early in your life and 9 years on, it still hurts a lot and you are finding it difficult to move on. The anger you are feeling is a normal stage of grieving as you will see in our Coping with Grief section which explains in detail the types of emotions you may go through as you grieve. It is not uncommon to feel robbed and that it was all so unfair. 

Some of these overwhelming emotions may then be transferred onto your feelings towards your inlaws. Don't feel guilty about that. It is completely understandable that  when you look at them - and they may be a similar age to your parents - you suddenly think of your own family, of your parents being always together. You're definitely not nasty and those are emotions that in time you will learn to overcome and you will feel at peace again. 

As it's been 9 years though since your mum passed away, it might be a good idea to talk to your GP about how you are feeling about all this and whether they may have some suggestions for you. They may be able to offer grief counselling, for example, which might be beneficial to you and help you feel gradually a little better and come to terms with everything that happened in the last few years. So do give your doctor a call I am sure they will be able to point you in the right direction.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

Hello FJ and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat! 

You are definitely not selfish at all. You have lost your mum too early in your life and 9 years on, it still hurts a lot and you are finding it difficult to move on. The anger you are feeling is a normal stage of grieving as you will see in our Coping with Grief section which explains in detail the types of emotions you may go through as you grieve. It is not uncommon to feel robbed and that it was all so unfair. 

Some of these overwhelming emotions may then be transferred onto your feelings towards your inlaws. Don't feel guilty about that. It is completely understandable that  when you look at them - and they may be a similar age to your parents - you suddenly think of your own family, of your parents being always together. You're definitely not nasty and those are emotions that in time you will learn to overcome and you will feel at peace again. 

As it's been 9 years though since your mum passed away, it might be a good idea to talk to your GP about how you are feeling about all this and whether they may have some suggestions for you. They may be able to offer grief counselling, for example, which might be beneficial to you and help you feel gradually a little better and come to terms with everything that happened in the last few years. So do give your doctor a call I am sure they will be able to point you in the right direction.

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator