Hi

I am so sorry to read your post.

I am a Mum too, have had bowel cancer twice now and am really scared it will return.

I lost my Dad at your Mums age, I was only young but I got there over time.

Take each day at a time, remembering the lovely memories of your Mum and I'm sure she will be with you always

It scares me every single day that I will have to leave my family one day because of this awful disease but what can we do about it really, If there is any good way to look upon your situation, although a shock and it happened quickly, at least you weren't watching her suffer for months and months. If it were me and I knew it was terminal I wouldn't want it stretched out for months and having my family suffering, watching me for months.

Try and focus on the lovely times, talk to someone about this, don't keep in inside.

Lots of love

Hey,

I'm so so sorry to hear about your mum and how quick it's all happened. Your mum sounds very brave and I hope that in time, it brings you some comfort. 

Your story unfortunately is very similar to mine, my mum was also 55 and passed away after a very short diagnosis. It's very hard to get your head around. I'm a month down the line, and I miss her beyond words. I spoke to her every single day.

I hope that you are able to get some strength from your family at the moment, this will help you so much. 

Lots of love. And take lots of deep breaths when it feels overwhelmingly painful. The best advice I've been given to date. XX

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. 

My mum died of lung cancer at 54. I was 4 months pregnant, my siblings were 27,19 and 14. 
 

The pain was indescribable and I truely do not know how I survived it at times but I promise you it changes. It never goes away and there will be times when the pain is as intense as it is now but grief changes over time. 
 

It has been 6 years since my mum died. I am forever changed but I no longer feel the suffocating, heart breaking pain all day everyday. 
 

Hold on, do whatever you need to do to get through the days, lean of family and friends. Just keep making it through the days, take it one day (or one hour at a time) and over time your grief will change into something more manageable. 

You will be ok xxxxxxx

Hey, thank you so much for replying to me, it really means a lot ️ 
I know it's easy said than done, but you shouldn't worry about what could happen, but rather live for now. You should make happy memories with your children, and do what you've always wanted to do, because the reality is life is too short. However, don't live in fear of the cancer returning- nothing is guranteed, and if you live like that, it will consume your mind. 
Thank you for your perspective of the terminal cancer, I never really looked like it as how she didn't want us to suffer, I guess I was selfish, and just wanted her to live at all costs. But you're right, the person mum was, it hurt her so much that we had to experience the cancer, I know she wouldn't have wanted us to see her like that. 
 

Thanks again for your reply, sending you lots of love and prayers

Hey, thank you so much for your reply ️ You're one of the kindest souls I have met on here, as you replied to another one of my posts regarding treatment too.

I'm so sorry about your mum, and I'm sorry for everything you are going through, and I pray god makes it easier for you.  

I know it will be difficult at the moment for us both, as it's so raw, I have vivid memories from when she was diagnosed/final stages, and I want to remember the better memories, with time I know I'll remember all the good memories, how she should be remembered. I just want the pain and stop, but I know if I have an ounce of my mum's strength, I will learn to live again.

Sending you lots of love and prayers- if you need to talk, please message me ️

Thank you for your lovely kind words x

You are right.... 'what could happen', I really really hope I can go on to old age with my lovely family. I sometimes think if I get to 70 and look back on all the years of worry and 'what if's'.

It does spoil the 'now' though.

I have a few good weeks with no aches/twinges and then I'll get a new scare and I'm right back up there really scared until it either goes or I get a reason for the twinge. 

Lot's of love, be strong xxx

I have just posted too about my mums passing last Friday. I have no idea how to carry on going.  Miss her so mich already and sometimes even forget shes not here. 

Following for any advice too. 

I offer my condolences and virtual hugs. 

Hey, thank you so much for your reply ️
I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and I'm sorry with what you are going through. 
I know it's so difficult, as the time between diagnosis and her passing is so short. But the silver lining to this is, least she was not in pain for months/ years. When my mum was alive, all I did was pray for her to stay with us, even if she was ill, and now I realise how selfish that was, because she didn't deserve that. 
People have said that over time, we will get used to the pain, so please give it time.

If you ever want to talk, please message me- these forums have been a huge comfort, through the darkest days of my mum's illness. Sending you lots of love and prayers xx

Hey, thank you so much for your reply ️ I'm so sorry about your mum, and I pray she is in a better place. 

It provides me huge comfort that you mentioned that the grief will become manageable, because right now, I feel like I am suffocating, and can't breathe with the pain

I will try to take it slowly, and pray that over time the pain will ease- please keep me my family and me in your prayers xxx