My mum passed away and I can’t cope

My mum was diagnosed with Stage 4 Bowel cancer, that was terminal in February 21. She passed away yesterday, after such a short battle.

She passed away with my siblings and dad by her side, like she always wanted. 

But the pain is indescribable. 

I never expected her to pass, as quick as she did. I initially called the ambulance, as she was having severe back pains, that weren't going away with the painkillers. I just expected the hospital to check her over, and then she would return home. But when we got the call at 2am, saying all the family should go to the hospital, I just knew, before the doctors said anything. What kills me is, when I did go and talk to mum, she had full conscious. I cried my heart out to her, and she was comforting me. She was so selfless, and loved me and my siblings so much. She was comforting me, when the doctors had told her she had hours to live. She was reassuring me that the doctors were wrong, and she would be okay and come home.


Looking back on it, I realise what a strong person she was. She wasn't scared of dying, instead she just wanted her children to be okay. 
 

God, it kills so much. We lost her way too soon, she was only 55. This was meant to be the best years of her life, retiring, watching her children go up. It hurts so much. I just want her back. I don't know how to cope or move forward. 
 

I don't know how I am going to live the next 30/40 years of my life, without my mum. I need my mum. 
 

Parents
  • Hi

    I am so so sorry to read your post. 

    Our situations sound fairly similar, my mum was rushed into hospital on the 19th with severe stomach pains and was given a ct scan the next day which confirmed Stage 4 Bowel cancer which had also spread to her liver. She sadly passed 3 days ago on MArch 30th.  

    Even though we knew it was incurable and we were told she only had weeks to live I am still in complete and utter shock.  The end happened so quickly and I dont know how i will ever get over this.  i am so angry its eating me away.  

    I've never joined one of these forums before but knowing others are going through the same is horrific yet comforting. Hope we can supoort each other, and again I'm so sorry. 

    xxxx

Reply
  • Hi

    I am so so sorry to read your post. 

    Our situations sound fairly similar, my mum was rushed into hospital on the 19th with severe stomach pains and was given a ct scan the next day which confirmed Stage 4 Bowel cancer which had also spread to her liver. She sadly passed 3 days ago on MArch 30th.  

    Even though we knew it was incurable and we were told she only had weeks to live I am still in complete and utter shock.  The end happened so quickly and I dont know how i will ever get over this.  i am so angry its eating me away.  

    I've never joined one of these forums before but knowing others are going through the same is horrific yet comforting. Hope we can supoort each other, and again I'm so sorry. 

    xxxx

Children
  • Hey, thank you so much for your reply ️
    I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, and I'm sorry with what you are going through. 
    I know it's so difficult, as the time between diagnosis and her passing is so short. But the silver lining to this is, least she was not in pain for months/ years. When my mum was alive, all I did was pray for her to stay with us, even if she was ill, and now I realise how selfish that was, because she didn't deserve that. 
    People have said that over time, we will get used to the pain, so please give it time.

    If you ever want to talk, please message me- these forums have been a huge comfort, through the darkest days of my mum's illness. Sending you lots of love and prayers xx

  • Thanks so much, and I'm sending you lots of love xxxxx