Just read your post, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and that it all happened so quickly.. sending hugs your way x

Hi there,

I too experienced the same with my mum.

My mum biggest fear in life was cancer and would never engage with any cancer conversation she wouldn't share her fears or how she felt but I just knew.

My mum was poorly at home for a couple of months and would say she fine and would visit the doctors when she was ready, something I respected as I knew she was scared of going and catching covid.

January the 15th I called my mum to see if she wanted anything from Tesco and she told me she really wasn't well and I told her I would come over. I tried to call for help but I was getting no where as covid seemed to taken over the world and my mum wasn't of any importance because she basically could breath and talk at the same time! (I was told this by the nurses on more than one occasion) my mum than started to lose her mobility affecting her left side so I called for help and again was fobbed off. I rang doctors most days I worked from my parents home trying to care and get help and support for my mum. My mum would cough in to tissues and wouldnt allow me to take them and put them In the bin for her (I didn't realise she was actually protecting me). Eventually on Saturday 30th January my mum was getting worse so I called 999 as emergency, the crew came and told me my mum probably has had a Stoke. I was ok with this as I too thought the same. I didn't expect the following morning to be told my mum had secondary brain tumours and that she would need a mri scan to locate the primary cause. On Monday 1st Feb I was told my mum had stage 4 lung cancer and they was nothing they could do to save her. I was heartbroken beyond words. My mum caught covid in hospital but won, however this delayed her coming home as she just didn't want to stay in hospital. I wasn't allowed to see my mum on her last birthday which was Friday the 5th February even tho my mum was on palliative care by than. I finally w

allowed to see my mum from Wednesday 10th February. I had to fight for my mum to come home. I promised my mum I would do everything to make this happen and I would take care of her once she's home with me. I finally got my mum home on Monday 15th February and unexpectedly she passed away on Wednesday 17th feb. I would do anything just to carry on caring for my mum as I loved her more than anything in this world. My mum funeral was Monday 15th March (the day after Mother's Day, another blow to my already broken heart) I don't know how I can ever accept the loss of my mum as she was the one person in this world that always had my back! I miss her uncondionally and I have a constant void in my life. 
 

I hope your mums funeral goes well and you celebrate her life. I know this was the only comfort I had as it was the last thing I could actually do for my mum.

I am here if you want to chat, just send us a private message if you feel this would help.

Take care, hope to speak soon x

Hey [@Raine1904]‍ 

I'm sorry to hear of the passing of your mum, and how quick it was. Life is extremely cruel, and it does make you wonder what it's happening sometimes.

My mum's diagnosis was very similar to yours, admitted via accident and emergency, after a misdiagnosis, as the pain had got so bad. She then had various CT scans and confirmed it was lung cancer, that had spread to bones, the spine in particular. She also had radiotherapy a couple of days later. She passed away 2 weeks after her diagnosis. 

When I start to feel anger, or extream pain for the loss of my mum, and how quickly it happened, I try to go back to a conversation with her, when she said she was happy it was going to be this way, and not in and out of hospital having chemo, and drugs to then have to potentially repeat the cycle. It doesn't help me, what he does help me preserve the memory of my mum because I know deep down, she genuinely would have hated that cycle. I don't know if this will help you in anyway, but it's just one of the things I seem to cling to when feeling overwhelmed. 

Lots of love for Tuesday. And if you ever need to chat, just send me a message. Take care of yourself XX

Hi Raine1904, 

I'd like to send you my deepest sympathies for the loss of your mother. 

I lost my mum myself four months ago to cancer. I completely understand how you are feeling right now. 

My mum had suffered with cancer for years, but her decline was at a break-neck speed. I too struggle with how quick Mum had gone from being her usual self, to planning her funeral within a matter of weeks. 

I wish I could tell you things get easier, I'm yet to feel that myself but the fog you will be feeling right now does lift slightly. And you always have this forum for support and understanding from people who really do sympathise with what you are going through. 

Sending you all my love and kind thoughts for Tuesday. 

Catherine x