My gorgeous big sister

Hi guys a recently lost my sister in January suddenly due to a cellerbella abcess in the brain leaving her brain dead. I hadn't spoken to her in two years due to her awful bf that abused her and put me in hospital. My sister was in hospital a few days before she went into the coma and he did it let me and my parents know. I feel so much guilt for not talking to her and I can't stop thinking she must have thought i hated her which is far from the truth as I always protected her and loved her so so much although I was the youngest out the two of us. Her bf has stolen all her stuff and won't even give my partents her birth certificate. I have so much hatred for him and feel I'm making myself ill. I'm not sleeping i don't want to leave the house I just feel so lost. People say it gets easier but I can't see how. Sorry guys for bothering you I just live and miss my sole mate xx

  • Hi there ...

    Oh my, it's quite normal to have some guilt about something .. but honestly l think your sister must have known what he was like ... my son fell out with me because of his wife ... controlling everything ... sinse my cancer journey, I know if I loose my battle I'll never blame my son ... my arms will always be open for him .. and I'll love him always, no matter what ...

    So please be kind to your self ... he sounds a nasty piece of work ... but if you all feel angry at him, he's still winning ... he still wants to hurt you all ... like my ex daughter in law does me ... well I won't let her have one minute of my time and anger just grows inside like a cancer ... stop that feeling .. now I just feel sorry for her, she will never know true love ... so like if I stepped in a dog's pile ... I'll wipe it and her away ..

    You can do this ... remember the good times... that's what she'd want ... wipe her partner out of your life and thoughts ... you and mum and dad can have your own little good bye to her ... get some halogen balloons... write her a message ... and listen to your heart ... let things be ... she'll be looking down and see what her partner is doing ... and she'll see you all and how much you care ... 

    Sending a vertual hug.... Chrissie x

  • Hi Chrissie, 

     

    I would like to thankyou for your kind words and for replying to my post.

    I am sorry to hear about your sons partner and the way she treated you and your son.

    I hope you are taking care of yourself and I send my love to you and your family. 

    I have had a couple of things happen and I believe these are signs from my sister telling me she is by my side and we will always be in each others hearts. 

    I am sad she is gone but 8 am happy he is no longer controlling her and hitting her anymore. I am just fighting to get her we dog back as she also had cancer and could not have children that she wanted so badly so I just want her wee dog back so I feel 8 still have my sister.

    You are right we should treat these nasty people like dirt on our shoes. 

    I wish you well with your health. I do mountain climbs to raise money for cancer. I donated money also to Cancer research in my sisters honour.

     

    Sending you my love Morag x

  • Hi Chrissie, feel so empty a lot of the time but you are such a nice person, how you helpful you are to people. Virtual hugs xx

  • Hi there ...@upset..1

    Thank you for your lovely words ... how are you doing now ... I remember you are having a tough time .. thank you for the vertual hug ... always welcome ... and sending one right back at ya ... so hope your holding on ... Chrissie x

  • Hi Chrissie, yes trying to hold on, we have no choice do we. You’re obviously a strong person with all what you’ re going through. My husband was strong in those few weeks. I’m late replying because struggled finding messages on the forum. Hope you’re coping on this cold wet day xx