I am so sorry for your loss.... you just need to be gentle and kind with yourself rather than think you should be behaving in any particular way.   Grief is complex and the hardest thing you will go through and everyone responds in so many diffierent ways..... shock and denial, carrying on as if hasn't happened, anger ..... rage, helplessness - all of these feelings wash over you and overwhelm ...sometimes pain is too much to handle and we fight to survive by any means our mind can find.    You don't need to feel guilty for any of the difficult emotions you are going through.....

I am so sorry for your loss.... you just need to be gentle and kind with yourself rather than think you should be behaving in any particular way.   Grief is complex and the hardest thing you will go through and everyone responds in so many diffierent ways..... shock and denial, carrying on as if hasn't happened, anger ..... rage, helplessness - all of these feelings wash over you and overwhelm ...sometimes pain is too much to handle and we fight to survive by any means our mind can find.    You don't need to feel guilty for any of the difficult emotions you are going through.....