Oh my ... so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... too many are being taken by this heartless crule cancer ... it's not fare ... but on here you can let it all out ... we've all been touched by cancer ... I've got breast cancer, though still fighting 3 years down the line ... 

I lost my granddaughter to acute myeloid leukaemia a few months ago.... she was 18 ... so this grief is shared by so many on here ... there's a couple other men lost their wives and finding it hard getting through the day .. hopefully one will see your thread and pop on ...

What I'd say, is don't look ahead ... live in the day .. just think "I'll get through today" ... and forgive your self ... it's o.k to feel those feelings ... sadly there's no easy way through raw grief ... try and get Rio Ferdinand book .. he tells his story , very like yours ... it may help ...

Try to make some time where you can do "normal" stuff your child needs .. he will need you to hold his little hand ... and if he sees you cry, that's o.k .. just tell him , your missing his mummy ... and then he can cry and know that's o.k ... it's getting the balance right, while your heart breaks ... gentle truth is always good ... hopefully his older siblings can look after him with you to help you through ...

Just today ... do today ... you'll always find someone here to be a shoulder to lean on ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie .....

Oh my ... so so sorry your going through this heartbraking time at the moment... too many are being taken by this heartless crule cancer ... it's not fare ... but on here you can let it all out ... we've all been touched by cancer ... I've got breast cancer, though still fighting 3 years down the line ... 

I lost my granddaughter to acute myeloid leukaemia a few months ago.... she was 18 ... so this grief is shared by so many on here ... there's a couple other men lost their wives and finding it hard getting through the day .. hopefully one will see your thread and pop on ...

What I'd say, is don't look ahead ... live in the day .. just think "I'll get through today" ... and forgive your self ... it's o.k to feel those feelings ... sadly there's no easy way through raw grief ... try and get Rio Ferdinand book .. he tells his story , very like yours ... it may help ...

Try to make some time where you can do "normal" stuff your child needs .. he will need you to hold his little hand ... and if he sees you cry, that's o.k .. just tell him , your missing his mummy ... and then he can cry and know that's o.k ... it's getting the balance right, while your heart breaks ... gentle truth is always good ... hopefully his older siblings can look after him with you to help you through ...

Just today ... do today ... you'll always find someone here to be a shoulder to lean on ... sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie .....

Hi Chris's thank you for replying and your kind words, I don't really know what I'm looking for. Your right I have to carry and try and be happy it's their lives that count now and I can't let it impact  on them any more than it already has, they are fantastic boys and need to make sure that they make the most of their own lives and that's all I can do. I am so sorry to hear about your granddaughter your family must be in despair there are no words that can come close to explaining that, and I also hope that your own battle is a successful one it's only now I have realised how many lives this disease has shattered