My best friend and soulmate

I lost my husband Dave 2nd February 2021, after 14 months of battling stage 4 bowel cancer! Initial we were told it was curable, and then in July we were told treatments were not working and we had 2-3 years! 7 months later he's gone! He fought such a hard battle and I am so proud of him for that, and even though we knew what would happen, I just thought I had more time with him. I am struggling to get out of bed most days. I do get dressed and go out when I have to, but if I have nowhere to go I stay in bed, I know he wouldn't want me to do that but I can't help him I want the world to stop! We have grown up children and a 1 year old grandson, but I can't bring myself round for them. Dave and I had an amazing marriage we were so close, we did argue but never anything major, and he was my go to for advise and to tell me if I was wrong about something. I just want to be with him but I know the kids need me! I just can't see how I am going to be able to carry on like normal without him. I need him so much. The funeral is the end of feb so it has been 3 weeks wait so I go to see him at the funeral parlour as I can't bear the thought of him being on his own there. I trimmed his beard for him as he was proud of it and the fact that he did t lose it made him so happy. How can I go on without him?

Parents
  • Hello,

    I lost my wife Ann in June 2019 through pancreatic cancer that was diagnosed as stage 4 in October 2018. We were hopeful that after the removal of a small tumour along with Chemotherapy treatment that we would have a few more years together and similar to your circumstances it didn’t go well and Ann had just 8 months.

    It’s very early days for you after loosing Dave and the struggle to motivate yourself from day to day and feeling that you can’t be around your children and grandson is a very normal reaction after your loss and you will have many, many emotions to deal with in the forthcoming months.

    Dave would have been so proud of you for looking after him at the funeral parlour.

    Nothing will be normal or the same anymore but time will ease the pain and in due course try to keep remembering all the good times you shared together.

    Best Wishes!.

     

  • Thank you for your response, hope you don't mind me asking how old was Ann, Dave was 55, since I last wrote, I am getting out of bed and starting to take more interest in the household chores, but I just feel so sad and miss him so much! 

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