Struggling after death of husband....

My husband was diagnosed two years ago with pancreatic cancer (2019). He passed away on 22/01/21. It has been a difficult two years with ups and downs along the way two infections, sepsis etc. He had two rounds of successful chemo which helped prolong his life. He was due to start a 3rd round in November, his oncologist suggested he wait,, but became ill very quickly, and never started. He never eat again after 23rd December, saying he just couldn't! Very difficult and sad Christmas for us his family. 
The week he passed was so sad due to covid, we were having to manage the care between family and friends, due to no carers being available He had a very difficult passing....I thought he would go in his sleep. He died in a lot of pain, not being able to speak and us his family holding a bucket while he threw up blood...the image will haunt me for the rest of my life! Then he was gone.....after 35 years togeather..

He died at home with his family which he wanted.....

I feel so sad without him, and miss him terribly, my life will never be the same....

Xxi 

 

 

Parents
  • Hello Shazza 

    I am so sorry to hear of your trauma and loss .

    You have done an amazing job of coping for two years 

    until the end at home . You must be feeling exhausted after looking after your husband with little support .

    Well done! Feel proud that you did what your husband wanted  to be at home with you . 
    If it's any comfort I understand a little of how you feel having been through the same scenario with my husband .

    He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March 2020 , he suffered infections , hospitalisation and sickness through a chaotic spring and summer .
    The chemo was cancelled  because he was so ill ,we looked after him at home until  he passed in August in a hospice . I still take a breath  when I see an orange B&Q bucket which like you became the sick bucket  .
    For the first month after ,my daughter and I were numb coping by  keeping busy with arrangements  etc .

    We both miss him terribly each day but know that he wanted us to keep going , easier said than done !

    Be kind to your self and try to rest eat drink what and when you feel like it  and...

    keep talking to help process what you have been through 

     

    Routines of work and college when we were ready to start have helped  us cope . 
     Best wishes 

    ksg


     

Reply
  • Hello Shazza 

    I am so sorry to hear of your trauma and loss .

    You have done an amazing job of coping for two years 

    until the end at home . You must be feeling exhausted after looking after your husband with little support .

    Well done! Feel proud that you did what your husband wanted  to be at home with you . 
    If it's any comfort I understand a little of how you feel having been through the same scenario with my husband .

    He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March 2020 , he suffered infections , hospitalisation and sickness through a chaotic spring and summer .
    The chemo was cancelled  because he was so ill ,we looked after him at home until  he passed in August in a hospice . I still take a breath  when I see an orange B&Q bucket which like you became the sick bucket  .
    For the first month after ,my daughter and I were numb coping by  keeping busy with arrangements  etc .

    We both miss him terribly each day but know that he wanted us to keep going , easier said than done !

    Be kind to your self and try to rest eat drink what and when you feel like it  and...

    keep talking to help process what you have been through 

     

    Routines of work and college when we were ready to start have helped  us cope . 
     Best wishes 

    ksg


     

Children
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