I am sorry for your loss, it is clearly very painful for you, which is probably why your body is 'safeguarding' itself, by protecting your emotions, totally understandable. Maybe in time you will be able to accept the support your partner is offering, but it might be helpful to speak to someone independent who can help you deal with all your raw emotions? Sending you a big hug, its a tough time, take care xxx

Hi. In a word yes. I was in my early 20's when I lost my mum and I always say, it changed me as a person. I became quite distant. I very seldom cried. I was also numb. I shut myself off from everyone other than my family. It was devastating at the time and although it gets easier, it's really difficult to process. One of the things that helped me was going to councilling. What I got from that experience was the joy of being able to tell a complete stranger how wonderful my mum was. I must say, many years on, I have softened and become more tactile. It's like I lost a part of my soul. We grieve in different ways and to me, this was my coping mechanism. My own daughter has now been diagnosed with cancer and I've done nothing but cry and hug. It's ok to feel how you feel. It's ok to be numb. Sometimes blocking it out is the only way to get out of bed and through the day.